Saturday, 7 May 2016

Silly Job Titles (Part 2)

Long winded waffle in place of a simple description.


A cover up?
Or 'Responsible discretion in the national interest..."
One of my favourite examples of official mumbo jumbo jargon, was in an old episode of the classic sitcom 'Yes, Prime Minister' when Sir Humphrey Appleby was describing a cover up.  However, being a stereotypical civil servant, he didn't simply call it a cover up, and instead he referred to it as:

"Reponsible discretion exercised in the national interest to prevent unnecessary disclosure of eminently justifiable procedures in which untimely revelation would severely impair public confidence."

Or to put it simply ... a cover up!

More recently, the practise of using long winded mumbo jumbo to describe simple terms seems to have spread to the naming of job titles, and I featured a few of these silly job titles in a previous blog post.

I've featured another batch of confusing job titles below, and once again to make things more challenging I've made it into a quiz.  Have a look at the following pretentious job titles and see if you can work out what jobs they actually refer to.  If you get stuck you can scroll down the page for the answers...

Silly Job Titles:

1) Director Of First Impressions

2) Gatherer Of Recyclable Material To Help Combat Climate Change Person

3) Derma-Pigmentation Technician For Permanent Cosmetics

4) Highway Environmental Hygienist

5) Beverage Dissemination Officer

6) Field Nourishment Consultant

7) Five A Day Collection Operative

8) Colour Distribution Technician

9) Coin Facilitation Engineer

10) Mortar Logistics Engineer

Scroll down the page for the answers...














Answers:


A Derma-Pigmentation Technician For Permanent Cosmetics
(Tattoo artist)
1) Director Of First Impressions – Receptionist

2) Gatherer Of Recyclable Material To Help Combat Climate Change Person – Binman

3) Derma-Pigmentation Technician For Permanent Cosmetics – Tattoo Artist

4) Highway Environmental Hygienist – Road Sweeper

5) Beverage Dissemination Officer – Barman/Barmaid

6) Field Nourishment Consultant – Waiter/Waitress

7) Five A Day Collection Operative – Fruit Picker

8) Colour Distribution Technician – Painter and Decorator

9) Coin Facilitation Engineer – Toll Booth Collector

10) Mortar Logistics Engineer – Builder

This article was written by Charles 'Confectionary Product With A Soft Sweet Flavour Made From Sugar, Milk And Butter', author of the 'Suggested Methods To Facilitate The Protection Of The World' alien comedy books.


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About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.