Silly job titles (part 2)

A cover up?
Or 'Responsible discretion in the national interest..."

One of my favourite examples of official mumbo jumbo jargon, was in an old episode of the classic sitcom 'Yes, Prime Minister' when Sir Humphrey Appleby was describing a cover up. However, being a stereotypical civil servant, he didn't simply call it a cover up, and instead he referred to it as:

"Reponsible discretion exercised in the national interest to prevent unnecessary disclosure of eminently justifiable procedures in which untimely revelation would severely impair public confidence."

Or to put it simply ... a cover up!

More recently, the practise of using long winded mumbo jumbo to describe simple terms seems to have spread to the naming of job titles, and I featured a few of these silly job titles in a previous blog post.

I've featured another batch of confusing job titles below, and once again to make things more challenging I've made it into a quiz. Have a look at the following pretentious job titles and see if you can work out what jobs they actually refer to. If you get stuck you can scroll down the page for the answers...

Silly Job Titles:

1) Director Of First Impressions

2) Gatherer Of Recyclable Material To Help Combat Climate Change Person

3) Derma-Pigmentation Technician For Permanent Cosmetics

4) Highway Environmental Hygienist

5) Beverage Dissemination Officer

6) Field Nourishment Consultant

7) Five A Day Collection Operative

8) Colour Distribution Technician

9) Coin Facilitation Engineer

10) Mortar Logistics Engineer

Scroll down the page for the answers...

Answers:

A Derma-Pigmentation Technician For Permanent Cosmetics
(Tattoo artist)

1) Director Of First Impressions – Receptionist

2) Gatherer Of Recyclable Material To Help Combat Climate Change Person – Binman

3) Derma-Pigmentation Technician For Permanent Cosmetics – Tattoo Artist

4) Highway Environmental Hygienist – Road Sweeper

5) Beverage Dissemination Officer – Barman/Barmaid

6) Field Nourishment Consultant – Waiter/Waitress

7) Five A Day Collection Operative – Fruit Picker

8) Colour Distribution Technician – Painter and Decorator

9) Coin Facilitation Engineer – Toll Booth Collector

10) Mortar Logistics Engineer – Builder

This article was written by Charles Fudgemuffin, author of 'Deceased Males Divulge No Anecdotes'.

Note: It's actually called 'Dead Men Tell No Tales'. I was using long winded waffle in place of the book's actual title.

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You can find more silly job titles in my follow up blog posts:
Silly job titles (part 3)
Silly job titles (part 4)