Funny things kids say (part 4)

According to the saying, 'Kids say the funniest things,' so this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features another selection of funny quotes from kids.  First up, here's a tweet from a father with a really loving daughter...

Here's a photo for @WheelTod's daughter.

1) Love at first bite

Me to 2 year old daughter: "I love you."
Daughter: "I love looking at pictures of sharks."

Unfortunately, his daughter's love is for sharks, apparently, not for her parent!

Tweet by @WheelTod

Faces in things

Pareidolia sounds like it's a horrible tropical disease, but it's actually something far nicer. Pareidolia is simply the phenomenon of seeing faces (or other items) in everyday objects and patterns.

Here are a few examples of pareidolia...

1) Wooden dog

Here's a dog's face hiding in a piece of wood.

This wood has no bark. Or does it?

"My stomach literally fell out of my body!"

Andre Agassi prepares for his next tennis match.

When people misuse the word 'literally' it drives me literally insane!  Well, actually it drives me figuratively insane.

Here's another round-up of amusing quotes featuring misuse of the word 'literally...

1) "Harry Redknapp is going to be literally, literally pulling his hair out."
...John Scales


2) "When Andre Agassi meets a qualifier, he tends to literally steamroller them."
...Ian Carter


3) “When my name wasn’t read out, my stomach literally fell out of my body.”
...A model on Britain’s Next Top Model uses an extreme method to lose weight.

Stupid questions

Stupid questions

Stupid questions always seem to get a lot of page views whenever I feature them on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, so here are a few more.

The following stupid questions have been compiled from various forums, facebook, and real life experience...

1) At the supermarket

This is a question often asked at the supermarket which always leaves me puzzled whenever I buy a trolley full of items...

Check-out assistant: "Would you like a bag?"
Says: "Yes, please."

Thinks: "A bag? For these twenty cumbersome items? No, don't worry about a bag. Fortunately I'm an expert juggler so I'll just juggle these twenty items as I walk home."

True or false: Real word or made-up

Words are the theme of this week's blog post.

There are lots of weird and wonderful words in the English language, so this week the Charles Fudgemuffin tests your vocabulary. Are the following words true or made-up?

The only clue I'll give you is that in some cases the answer is not what you'd expect.  Or maybe it is what you'd expect and I've just said that to throw you off the scent.  Anyway, have a look at the following unusual words and see if you can guess* if they're real or made up...

* Please note, if you already know the answer, then you don't need to guess. You can instead use your knowledge.

Funny holiday complaints (part 2)

Legs or hot dogs?
Is this a holiday maker trying go get a great tan,
or is it two cleverly positioned hot dogs?

As the British summer comes to an end, here's another batch of totally justified and not at all trivial holiday complaints from 'unfortunate' holiday makers...

1) "We got on the wrong train to the airport and missed our flight."
...To be fair, you can't hold the travel company totally responsible for that.



2) "We were told we would get a great tan, but we stayed inside all day and didn't get one."



3) "I compared the size of our one bedroom suite to our friends' three bedroom suite and ours was significantly smaller."
...In other news, water is wet.

Random thoughts (part 4)

Here are a few more random unconnected thoughts on random unconnected subjects...

Potatoes.
Weighing 2 pounds 7 ounces.

1) Weight obsession

When people have a new baby, they always seem to mention how much it weighs.  But why?  What's the big obsession with baby weight?  We don't mention weight at other times.

For example, imagine getting married and updating your facebook status as follows...

John Smith married Rebecca Holloway.
Weighing 9 stone 7 pounds.

You just wouldn't do it, so why do people feel the need to mention how much babies weigh?

2) Time travel benefits

If time machines were ever invented, it's inevitable that some people would end up using them as a 'snooze' button.