Murray Walker quotes (part 1)

A tribute to a formula 1 legend.

"Seb, where would you rank Murray Walker
among formula 1 commentators?"

Today sees the title deciding final Grand Prix of the 2014 formula 1 season, so on the theme of F1 here's a collection of memorable quotes from one of my favourite sports commentators of all time ... the legend, Murray Walker.

1) "There's nothing wrong with the car except that it's on fire."


2) "I can't image what kind of problem Senna has. I imagine it must be some sort of grip problem."


3) "He's only 19. That's the same age Eddie Irvine was when he was 19."
...Coincidentally, it's also the same age I was when I was 19.


4) "And Michael Schumacher is actually in a very good position. He is in last place..."


5) "The lead car is unique, except for the one behind it, which is identical."

How not to write a helpful book review

Three unhelpful but amusing book reviews.

A few months ago I offered my opinion on how to write a helpful book review, and as a follow-up I thought it would be interesting to take a look at the flipside of the coin, namely how not to write a helpful book review. So to illustrate some of the pitfalls to avoid, here are a selection of poorly written book reviews found on Amazon...

"Many tourists visit Egypt every year but I couldn't
tell you what it's like because I've never been. 3/5."
...Travel News Magazine (#NotReally)

1) The Works Of Edgar Allen Poe (Volume 4) by Edgar Allen Poe

First up is a book 'review' which highlights perhaps the most important thing of all to consider when writing a book review. It's a review of The Works Of Edgar Allen Poe (Volume 4), and the review reads:

"I got this because it was free but I have not got around to reading it yet. 3/5"

I had to chuckle at the reply that someone has left:

"Thanks - really informative. It is always useful to read a book review from someone who has not read it."

So my first tip for anyone writing a book review would perhaps be an obvious one. When writing a book review, always ensure that you have actually read the book before you review it!

The Broof Pirate: A childish facebook prank

The Broof Pirate, happy to help with all your facebook questions...

Most pirates carry a pirate sword like this one pictured,
but the Broof Pirate instead carries a bottle of Broof.

In the past on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I've featured a few daft childish pranks to play on facebook, and once again I thought I would mention an amusingly childish facebook prank. Most people will probably find this extremely childish, and also a bit surreal, so it'll only appeal to people who are extremely immature and easily amused, like myself for example.

The prank involves a link shortener to disguise the actual website link, and the link is www.smarturl.it/InfoPage468. The 'InfoPage468' reference makes it appear as if it links to some useful information, but in actual fact the link sneakily redirects to the 'Broof Pirate' website which is a ridiculous website featuring a pirate who makes funny 'broof' noises.

To play the prank, just wait until one of your facebook friends posts a question asking for advice, and then post a reply providing an allegedly 'helpful' link. However, instead of posting a helpful link, you instead post the disguised link to the Broof Pirate.

Here are a few examples based on questions posed on my own facebook feed...

True Or False: A new book from Charles Fudgemuffin?

True!

True Or False:
A Collection Of 100 Light-Hearted Facts And Bluffs

It's been around a year now since I published my early scifi themed series of books, and after writing a story which spanned six books and approximately two thousand pages, I initially felt like I needed to recharge my batteries before writing my next novel. 

I have since started writing my next novel, but it may be quite a few months before it's ready for publication, so as a diversion until then, I've also written a non-fiction book.

Well ... it's sort of non-fiction. I suppose you could more accurately describe it as half non-fiction and half fiction, as my new book is entitled 'True Or False: A Collection Of 100 Light-Hearted Facts And Bluffs'. As the name suggests, it's a collection of 'facts' some of which are true, and others of which are nothing more than devious bluffery.

The book is a change of direction from my previous scifi books, and features a writing style closer to what you would find on this blog. To give you a flavour of what to expect, this is the first true or false 'fact' featured in the book...

Five stupid sayings (part 2)

Five more English expressions which may seem a little weird to foreign speakers...

A few months ago I highlighted a few weird English sayings which seem perfectly normal to me as an English person, but when you analyse them they perhaps might seem strange to speakers of other languages. Here's another collection of unusual words and expressions found in the English language...

1) "Egg and soldiers."

Soldiers and soldiers. Can you spot the difference?

On my latest travels I met an English girl and a French girl, and one day the English girl ordered 'egg and soldiers' for breakfast. The French girl responded with a blank look and questioned what 'soldiers' were, so the English girl then explained that the toast was cut into 'soldiers'. The French girl quite sensibly asked why we called them soldiers and the English girl replied, "Because they look like soldiers." However, when you think about it they look nothing like soldiers. They look like rectangular pieces of toast.

If you look at the side by side comparison pictured in the photo, I'm sure you'll agree that there's very little resembance at all.

Payhip: A handy sales website for indie authors

A review of the benefits of Payhip.

The 'How To Save The World' books,
now available in epub format from Payhip.

For the first couple of years on sale, my alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books were available exclusively from Amazon.  I had always planned to make them available from other ebook stores, but somehow I never got around to it.

However, earlier this year amazon.com were four months late in paying me my royalties, and their disinterested and tardy attitude to resolving this late payment finally prompted me into action.  As a result, all six books in the 'How To Save The World' series are now available in epub format from my Payhip sales page.

My experience with Payhip so far has been very positive, so I thought I would write a blog post on the benefits of self-publishing with Payhip for any indie authors currently considering expanding the number of sales channels where readers can buy their books.

Here are some of the advantages of Payhip:

Yet more signs from around the world

Another batch of noteworthy signs...

As the title suggests, this post is a follow up to my previous posts entitled Signs from around the world, More signs from around the world and Even more signs from around the world’. For the avoidance of any doubt, it features yet more photos of signs from around the world.

I'll start things off with a sign found in the window of a local mobile phone shop which makes a bold and perhaps controversial claim...

1) The perfect anniversary gift!

If you're a husband who is searching for a romantic special gift for your wife for a memorable event such as an important wedding anniversary or birthday, then I've got the perfect suggestion. What could be more romantic than...

...getting your wife's mobile phone unlocked!?

Mobile phone unlocking...  The perfect romantic gift for a 25th wedding anniversary.

After all, as the sign says, "The perfect gift for any occasion!" I'm sure a wife celebrating her 25th wedding anniversary would be absolutely delighted with such a romantic gift!