Five stupid sayings (part 7)

The English language has many sayings that are wise and make a lot of sense. However, it also contains a selection of silly sayings that make no sense. From time to time, the Charles Fudgemuffin blog likes to take a look at some of these silly sayings, and this week is one such occasion.

1) I know it like the back of my hand.

"Wow! Buried treasure! I never noticed that before."

I have to admit I don't really pay much attention to the back of my hand, so for research purposes, when I was writing this I actually took the time to examine the back of my hand. And while doing so, I surprisingly noticed a small birthmark which I never knew I had!

So if I was to say, 'I know it like the back of my hand,' that would be the equivalent of saying, 'I don't know it very well at all.'

2) Like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Observant readers may be able to find a needle in this haystack.

Admittedly, there is an element of logic to this saying. After all, if you lost a needle in a haystack, it would be incredibly hard to find, so one the face of it, this saying is a clever way to describe looking for something that is hard to find.

However, to analyse the saying in more detail, if you lost a needle in a haystack, why would you bother looking for it? Surely it would be easier to just buy a new one?

Furthermore, if you did eventually find it, you'd probably prick yourself in the process, so as well as being a poor use of your time, looking for a needle in a haystack would be a very foolish thing to do.

Editor's note: "Perhaps a conscientious person lost the needle in the haystack, and they were worried about someone else potentially pricking their finger on the lost needle."
Charles: "How inconsiderate of that conscientious person to undermine my argument!"

3) A bad workman blames his tools.

Surprised reader: "Oh, so it was Mythosyne?
I thought you were talking about M********."
Charles: "No, of course not." **shifty eyes**

This is true. A bad workman does blame his tools, but I'll tell you who else blames his tools.

A workman with bad tools.

To be fair, this saying isn't stupid. It's just incomplete and misleading. The saying implies that every workman who blames his tools is a bad workman, whereas that's not necessarily the case.

Admittedly, having bad tools can only be a temporary excuse, because once you realize your tools are bad, a good workman would then replace them (if he was able to).

However, that won't be the case in all circumstances. For example, in my opinion, some M******** products are very poor. But sadly, with some products, they more or less have an effective monopoly, so in some cases, a workman using M******** products is - in my opinion - quite justified in blaming his tools.

Editor: "For legal purposes, I have censored all mentions of M********."
Charles: "Yes, probably wise. After all, we wouldn't want **** ***** taking the huff."

"Mmm, perfect for spoiling my appetite!"

4) You'll spoil your appetite.

This is a saying that adults say to kids who eat snacks between meals, so on the face of it, it seems to make sense.

However, when you analyse it, it's basically just a weird way of saying, "If you eat food, you'll stop being hungry."

Yes, I know I will, and that's kind of the point!

"Hooray! I've broke my leg! How lucky!"

Legal disclaimer: This man's foolish exclamation
does not represent the opinion of Charles Fudgemuffin.

5) Break a leg

'Break a leg' is a good natured way of wishing someone good luck, but to a foreign speaker it would sound quite malicious or even sinister if someone randomly said to them, 'Break a leg.'

English person: "Break a leg!"
Foreign person: "Why would you say that? What have I done to deserve breaking my leg?"
English person: "No, it means good luck. I'm wishing you good luck."
Foreign person: "By telling me to fracture my femur?"

When you think about it, the foreign person in the above fictional conversation has kind of got a point. How exactly will fracturing their femur bring them good luck?

You can find more stupid sayings below:
Five stupid sayings (part 5)
Five stupid sayings (part 6)