Funny things kids say (part 13)

Whenever I feature a blog post on 'funny things that kids say' it always seems to get a lot of views. I'm a firm believer in listening to your audience, so with that in mind, this week's blog post features another round-up of amusing quotes from kids taken from social media, real life and the internet.

This kid demonstrates an unusual order to the burping process.

1) Reverse logic

This first nugget of wisdom was posted by a facebook friend:

Callum’s thought for the day: "If you say 'Pardon me!' for no reason, then you should always burp afterwards. Then you haven’t said it for no reason!"

Genius! You can't argue with logic like that!

Editor's note: "Charles, I have to admit, I don't often say 'pardon me' for no reason."
Charles: "Well, Callum apparently does."

2) Cautious complements

Here's an honest kid from twitter:

As I was lovingly tucking in my 5 year old, I told her I loved her and she responded with, "You’ve been a great mommy ... so far."

Credit: @whinecheezits

In the words of investment corporations, "Past performance is no guarantee of future success."

3) Famous sayings (part 1)

You may have thought the best things in life were free, but no. Apparently, according to this one kid:

"The best things in life are...

...when I did a back flip onto the beanbag."

And they've even drawn a picture to prove it!

Credit: Matt Rose

I have to admit, doing a backflip onto the beanbag would be pretty cool, but I'm still not quite convinced that I would rank it as the absolute best thing in life.

4) Difference of opinion

Here's an amusing conversation from giraffian:

Store assistant: "Is that your son?"
Lady: "No, this is my grandson."
Store assistant: "Your grandson? You look too young to be a grandmother!"
Lady: "Thank you."
Grandson: "She’s not young. She’s 38!"

I suppose when you're a kid, 38 seems ancient!

5) Lazy or genius?

This next clever kid has found a flaw in the algorithm.

Credit: imgur

Work smarter, not harder!

6) Spelling is important

Some video games can be quite violent nowadays, but thankfully this next example was just a misunderstanding:

"One of my kids has been playing DIE FASHION MODEL online and I was concerned, asking to see it. Luckily it’s DIY FASHION MODEL, which seems okay."

Credit: @mrmarkmillar

7) Famous sayings (part 2)

Here's another example where a creative kid finished off a famous saying in a slightly unexpected manner:

"Don't put all your eggs...

...in your closet with your Nikes."

I have to admit, it's good advice. It would be rather foolish to keep all your eggs in he closet with your Nikes. I find it far more practical to keep my eggs in the kitchen.

8) Species reveal

To set the scene, my cousin's young daughter stuck a cushion up her jumper and was pretending to be pregnant...

Cousin: "Are you having a boy or a girl?"
Daughter: "A hedgehog."

I'm pretty sure that's not how biology works!

9) Tired kid

Xploding Unicorn on twitter is always a good source of amusing quotes from his kids:

11 year old: "I'm so tired."

Me: "Then go to bed."

11 year old: "I don't want to sleep. I just want to complain about it."

10) Famous sayings (part 3)

Finally, let's round things off with one last famous saying, as told by yet another creative (and perhaps slightly boastful) kid:

"Great minds think...

I am beautiful."

You may have thought great minds think alike, but no, apparently great minds think this one particular girl is beautiful. Actually, I suppose that if all great minds think she is beautiful, then that would mean they do indeed think alike.

You can find even more amusing comments by kids below:
Funny things kids say (part 11)
Funny things kids say (part 12)