They did the math(s), badly

When someone has analysed the statistics to arrive at an accurate and impressive conclusion, we sum that up by saying, 'They did the math(s)."

* In the UK, we say 'they did the maths'. In the US, it's 'they did the math', so delete as appropriate based on your location.

An empty Emirates Stadium, after Mikel Arteta implements
a mathematically impossible selection criteria.

However, not everyone that does the math(s), does so correctly. Here are some examples where they did the math(s) ... badly.

1) No players

Here's a quote from Mikel Arteta which suggests he plans to field a team of no players, after failing to understand the basic rules of percentages.

Mikel Arteta: "My philosophy will be clear. I will have everyone 120% committed, that's the first thing. If not, you don't play for me."

Footballers are known for their intelligence **shifty eyes**, so presumably the Arsenal players ruled themselves out of contention...

"Sorry, boss. The most I can possibly be committed is 100%, so I'm afraid I can't play."

2) Cheap at half the price

Next, here's an advert on facebook which demonstrates why you should always pay attention at school when learning basic arithmetic.

"60 pounds for both, or 25 pounds each."
"How about £50 for them both?"
"Sorry, I'm not selling them for less than £60."
"Sigh, okay then. Here's £25 for the one on the left, and another £25 for the one on the right."
"Deal!"

3) Impossible offer

Computer programmers would probably describe this as a logic error loop...

2 for $8.
(Limit 1 per customer!)

Thankfully the widespread irrational fear of fresh air seems have died down now. In fact the demand for hand sanitiser has dropped so much that my local pound shop was actually giving hand sanitizer away a few weeks ago.

4) Negative deaths

All deaths are emotionally negative, but these deaths were also statistically negative, according to this Jimmy Krankie look-a-like politician.

"There has been 1 death in the past 24 hours. That's 4 more than yesterday."

Yesterday there were minus three deaths, apparently!

5) Half Price Ham

What a bargain! This ham was £2.65, but now it's half price! Only £2!

"Save 65p!"

By my calculations you actually save 24.5%, which is better than nothing, but far from being half price.

6) Clueless presenter

Finally, here's a famous example where an American TV presenter commentated on Michael Bloomberg's failed election bid, and did the math(s) very badly indeed.

Top respect to Sky News Australia for mocking the inept presenter.

"Bloomberg spent $500 million on ads. The U.S. population is 327 million. He could have given each American $1 million and still have money left over. I feel like a $1 million check would be life-changing for most people. Yet he wasted it all on ads and still lost."

For the benefit of Mekita Rives, 500 million dollars divided by 327 million people is actually only $1.53 each. Not quite as life changing a figure as a million dollars.

If you'd like to put your skills to the test and see if you can 'do the math' correctly, then check out the following blog post:
They did the math(s)