Funny things parents say

I've often featured funny things that kids say on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, but parents also say many things which make me chuckle. So here are a few examples...

"But I'd make a wonderful pet!"

1) "No, we can't get a dinosaur."

Credit: @Imaginarialist




2) "Kids really overestimate how much parents want to guess things."

Credit: @simoncholland




3) What you say: "Please stop making that noise."
What the kids hear: "Make a different noise that's more annoying."

Credit: @RodLacroix

"And you especially can't eat a bat balloon."
Insert obligatory Wuhan joke here.

4) "Having the house to yourself as a teenager is equally as exciting for a grown adult with kids/spouse."

Credit: u/inuoso06




5) "You can't eat the balloon."

Credit: @The_ParentClub




6) "Parenthood is a constant struggle between craving silence and needing your children to make noise to know they are alive."

Credit: @jaxwax04




7) "My kids realized early on that 'I'm bored' in English translates to 'Please give me menial labor to do' when translated to Fatherese."

Credit: Todd Minter

"Why? Because the artist used blue paint."

8) "90% of what I say to my kids after 6pm ends with '...or you can go to bed right now.'"

Credit: @NeatasaPin




9) "Why is your mouth blue?"

Credit: @MarcasG




10) "My parents have just got Netflix and I told them they could watch Army Of The Dead as it's released today. My mum's reply was 'Oo, brilliant. What time does it start?'"

Credit: @JonMooreFX

Related posts:
Funny things kids say (part 6)
Funny things kids say (part 7)
Funny things kids say (part 8)