 |
| Bonus point to anyone who can guess what sport this is. Editor's note: "Charles, why has the goalkeeper got three arms?" Charles: "Because AI can't count." |
Football:
1) "When a player gets to 30, so does his body."
...Glenn Hoddle
2) "There's no in between. You're either good or bad. We were in between."
...Gary Lineker
Tennis:
3) "These ball boys are marvelous. You don't even notice them. There's a left-handed one over there. I noticed him earlier."
...Max Robertson
4) "The Gullikson twins here. An interesting pair. Both from Wisconsin."
...Dan Maskell
Basketball:
 |
| An ambidextrous amphibian. |
...Chuck Nevitt
Spoiler alert! You're going to be an uncle.
6) "Left hand, right hand. I'm amphibious."
...Charles Shackleford.
On an unrelated note, he's also ambidextrous.
Formula 1:
 |
| "Watch you don't cut your finger on that kumquat!" |
Michael Schumacher: "It would be very difficult to run without tyres."
8) Martin Brundle: "Hamilton's as sharp as a kumquat out there."
David Coulthard: "Are kumquat's sharp, then?"
Athletics:
9) "And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan who turned 20 a few weeks ago."
...David Coleman
Horse Racing:
 |
| A one horse race, according to one presenter. |
...Sky Racing presenter
I must be missing something here. Are they saying that other horses have fake heads?
11) "It was literally a one horse race."
...Horse racing presenter as the camera showed seven horses racing.
12) "I can't really say I'm batting badly. I'm not batting long enough to be batting badly."
...Greg Chappell
13) "The other advantage England have got when Phil Tufnell is bowling is that he isn't fielding."
...Ian Chappell.
14) "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious."
...Alan Minter
15) "To me, boxing is like ballet ... except there's no choreography, no music, and the dancers hit each other."
...Jack Handy
But other than that, it's a perfect match!
You can check out even more amusing sports quotes below:
Funny sports quotes (part 1)
Funny sports quotes (part 2)
I must be missing something here. Are they saying that other horses have fake heads?
11) "It was literally a one horse race."
...Horse racing presenter as the camera showed seven horses racing.
Cricket:
12) "I can't really say I'm batting badly. I'm not batting long enough to be batting badly."
...Greg Chappell
13) "The other advantage England have got when Phil Tufnell is bowling is that he isn't fielding."
...Ian Chappell.
Boxing:
 |
| Jack's right! And here's the proof! |
...Alan Minter
15) "To me, boxing is like ballet ... except there's no choreography, no music, and the dancers hit each other."
...Jack Handy
But other than that, it's a perfect match!
You can check out even more amusing sports quotes below:
Funny sports quotes (part 1)
Funny sports quotes (part 2)
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