Random text conversations

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog shines the spotlight on a few random text conversations I found on the internet, which my easily amused sense of humor was entertained by.

1) To start things off, here's a brilliant scientific idea that someone has had...

"What if there were microwaves that made things cold?"
"They call those refrigerators."

To be fair, microwaves heat things up in only a few minutes, whereas fridges take considerably longer to cool things down. Then again, why let facts and logic get in the way of a sarcastic reply?




2) Next up, here's a text conversation which is definitely real, and definitely not just a badly written made up advert.

"I'm at the bar... big queue... what do you want to drink?"
"Get me a vodka, lime and soda, but don't get Jen one.
She's smashed. Vicki said you could be fined £1000."

I don't know about you, but I often have text conversations exactly like that with my friends every time we go out.




3) Sometimes English expressions don't translate very well into other languages, and here's one such example...

"Hi, are these still selling? Would you ship to Spain if I pay for shipping?"
"I don't do international shipping I'm afraid."
"Afraid of what? Do not be scared."

When you think about it, 'I'm afraid' is a bit of a weird think to say. If you actually are afraid then it's not weird obviously, but as in the example above people often say 'I'm afraid' to mean 'I'm sorry'. This makes no sense because being afraid is extremely different from being sorry, so I wonder how the expression first came to be used?




4) They say that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but this delivery driver apparently thinks otherwise...

"Who is this?"
"Hello, your Uber Eats order is here?"
"Oh, coming! Are you at the main entrance?"
"No, I'm on top of the building. I just landed my helicopter. Yes, I'm at the main entrance."

I like the way they felt the need to clarify that they were actually at the main entrance, just in case the customer did actually think they had landed their helicopter on the roof.




5) Some childish humor we grow out of as we get older, but some childish jokes are funny even for adults.

Brian Best offers sympathy to his fellow Brian over his surname.

I can't help wondering, back in the olden days when surnames were first being invented how did the surname 'Worst' come to be invented?

Also, whoever first used the surname 'Best' must have been a total bighead!




6) Finally, please respect Bill's privacy by not reading the following text conversation...

"So excited for season 3."
"Which show Bill?"
"Please respect my privacy Kris."

In order to respect Bill's privacy, I've pixelated his surname. So once again, if everyone could respect the privacy of Bill Oliver of 49 Middle Engine Lane, Rotherham, it would be greatly appreciated.

This is my first blog post on random text conversations, but you can find random thoughts on a variety of subjects in the blog posts below:
Random food thoughts
Random thoughts on cats and dogs