Saturday, 17 August 2013

Funny Football Quotes (Part 3)

Another batch of daft football quotes to celebrate the new season...

Two footballs, pictured yesterday.
From time to time I feature amusing football quotes on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, and as a new season of the Premier League kicks off today, I thought it would be an appropriate time to round up a third batch of quotes.

However, to make things a bit more interesting I've also included one made-up quote.  All except one of the following quotes are real, so see if you can guess which is the made-up quote…

1) "They're the second best team in the world, and there's no higher praise than that."
...Kevin Keegan

2) "I don't want Rooney to leave these shores but if he does, I think he'll go abroad."
...Ian Wright

3) “I would have given my right arm to be a pianist.” 
...Sir Bobby Robson

4) "For Iceland there is no such thing as a must-win game, but this is a must-win game."
...Eidur Gudjohnsen

For the benefit of commentator Peter Jones,
this is what zebras actually look like.
5) "Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras."
...commentator Peter Jones fails his audition for the Nature Channel.

6) "Most of Michael Owen's goals have come in the past."
...Dan Walker reports that Michael Owen has yet to discover the secret of time travel.

7) "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
...Terry Venables

8) "When you are 4-0 up you should never lose 7-1."
...Lawrie McMenemy

9) "Adebayor wants to leave and you just can't have that, so he has to go."
...Phil Thompson

10) "Samuel Eto'o is reputedly the highest paid player in the world at £350,000 per week.  That's £5,000 a day."
...Clive Tyldesley, inventor of the 70 day week.

Barry Venison reveals his unusual method of getting dressed
which he would superstitiously follow every match day.
11) "I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock."
...Barry Venison

12) "Man City have scored in all of their home wins this year."
...Rob Hawthorne

13) "Will Chelsea qualify with ease?  I think they will, but it won't be easy."
...Jamie Redknapp

14) "I remember when I won my third World Cup, not long after I'd just climbed Mount Everest for the seventh time, and only a few days after I'd got back from the first Moon landings..."
...Joe Kinnear

And finally to round things off, here's a famous old quote from John Motson:
15) "For those watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all yellow strip."
...John Motson

In case you haven't aready guessed, it was the Joe Kinnear quote which was made up.  As I'm sure everyone realises, Joe Kinnear has in fact only climbed Mount Everest six times, not seven.

Not for prudes or squares.
You can find more football quotes in my earlier posts:
Amusing Football Quotes
Amusing Football Quotes (Part 2)

Other recent posts:
Weird Facebook Likes (Part 3)
Another Daft Office Prank
Santa Claus, Camper Vans And Swedish Girls

. . . . . . . .

This post was compiled by Charles Fudgemuffin, author of the 'How To Save The World' books which are available for the Kindle app from Amazon:
Charles Fudgemuffin on Amazon

The 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.

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About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.