An alternative phonetic alphabet

As a Geordie, when I speak to people on the phone they often confuse my 'A's with my 'E's, so when spelling words verbally I often have to use the phonetic alphabet. The offical phonetic alphabet is very formal and efficient, but it's also quite boring, so just to confuse people, it's fun to use alternative words that sound like letters themselves, and say things like...

Gnomes

E for Eye  (E for I)
Y for You  (Y for U)
S for See  (S for C)
A for Aye  (A for I)
E for Ewe  (E for U)

It's also fun to confuse people altogether with silent letters and unusual pronunciations such as...

P for Pterodactyl
K for Knowledge
W for Wrinkle
P for Phonetic
G for Gnome

Here's an alternative phonetic alphabet (featuring misleadingly pronounced words) that me and a few work colleagues came up with during one of our breaks (and definitely not when we were supposed to be working).