Sunday, 18 January 2015

Funny Amazon Reviews

Tongue in cheek reviews found online...

Internet reviews are a great way of praising excellent products or warning of less than great customer service.  Sometimes though, as well as being informative, many reviews are also entertaining.  Here's a round-up of a few reviews found on Amazon which made me chuckle...

1) What a bargain!

Unfortunately I don't own an 85" TV so I had to
make do with this photo of an 18" TV instead.
First up is a review of a top of the range cutting edge 85" Samsung TV.  Yes, that's right ... an 85 inch screen!  As you'd expect for such a large TV, the price is also quite large, and the TV clocks in at a few dollars under forty grand!  ($39,997.99 to be precise.)  It's a great TV, but at such an exhorbitant price there may be financial implications for anyone buying one, as highlighted by this first review:

"This TV is fan freaking tastic!!!!  We are now living in the box it came in but even that is roomy and quite comfy!!!!"

Perhaps the first reviewer should have paid attention to the wise words of the following helpful reviewer who travelled back from the future to leave some very useful advice:

"I am coming back from the future to write this review, and to let everyone know you can buy this TV for $699 in 2015.  It still looks great though."

I suspect the bit about travelling from the future may actually be made up, but I wouldn't be surprised if the 2015 price turned out to be true.

Apparently though, even the 85" screen size wasn't big enough for this next reviewer:

"The black levels and color depth on this TV are pretty good for the price.  However, the small screen size is a deal breaker.  I recommend buying an IMAX theater instead."

2) The Greatest Album Of All Time?

"The most influential contribution to society since the
invention of the wheel!"  Charlotte Fudgemuffin
(Charles' sister) joins the X Factor judges to offer her opinion
on Katie Price's and Peter Andre's musical masterpiece.
Next up is the classic album, 'A Whole New World' by musical legends Katie Price and Peter Andre.  Although not my personal cup of tea, there are obviously a lot of Katie Price and Peter Andre fans on Amazon, where their album received critical acclaim, with M. D. Anderiesz describing it as:

"Possibly the most important discovery since penicillin."

Jack Bauer added:

"Could this be the answer for world peace?"

A reviewer known as Sam was another fan who loved their album, and he described it as:

"The 8th Wonder of the World."

3) Not suitable for men

A formula 1 car ... for her.
Finally, I wasn't aware that pens were specific to male and female writers, but according to Bic apparently they are, because Bic have produced a 'Bic For Her' ballpoint pen ... available in a lovely shade of pink!  If the reviews are to believed, then the pen has connected with its target audience and is a great product for women, with one reviewer commenting:

"My husband has never allowed me to write, as he doesn't want me touching men's pens.  However when I saw this product, I decided to buy it (using my pocket money) and so far it has been fabulous!  Once I had learnt to write, the feminine colour and the grip size (which was more suited to my delicate little hands) has enabled me to vent thoughts about new recipe ideas, sewing and gardening."

The pen is no good for man hands, however, as according to Davey Clayton:

"I bought this pen (in error, evidently) to write my reports of each day's tree felling activities in my job as a lumberjack.  It is no good.  It slips from between my calloused, gnarly fingers like a gossamer thread gently descending to earth between two giant redwood trunks."

In all seriousness, you can't help but wonder how Bic ever thought there was a need for a pen aimed specifically at women, rather than sticking to unisex pens like all the other ballpoint pens in the world.

You can find a few more reviews at the following links:
Giving Excellent Stuff The Credit It Deserves
Giving Excellent Stuff The Credit It Deserves (Part 2)

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About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.