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| Friendship and love... ...but what TV show could we be talking about? |
1) The TV show of friendship and love ... allegedly.
Viewers of daytime UK telly may have noticed the perhaps controversial slogan for The Jeremy Kyle Show...
"Bringing people together."
Bringing people together!?!? The Jeremy Kyle Show? Have they ever seen Jeremy Kyle?
If the slogan was, "Bringing people together ... so they can have a big massive fight," then perhaps I could agree, but describing The Jeremy Kyle Show with the slogan, "Bringing people together," is like describing Jose Mourinho as 'The Humble One'.
2) Computer jargon
Next up is a slogan used to promote the Asus X200 laptop...
"Asus X200 is the ideal laptop to match the hectic lifestyle of today."
Imagine going into a computer shop and having the following conversation...
Salesperson: "What sort of laptop are you looking for?"
Customer: "I'm looking for a laptop that matches the hectic lifestyle of today."
It's completely nonsensical.
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| "What a coincidence! That's exactly the type of laptop I was looking for!" |
3) "Live a remarkable life."
I spotted the following sign in Krabi, Thailand, and once again it's another example of a completely meaningless and misplaced slogan...
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| "Live a remarkable life..." |
With a slogan like 'Live a remarkable life' you might assume Asahi was perhaps an extreme sports activity company, or perhaps an alternative medical company researching cures for diseases, or something along those lines.
However, in actual fact Asahi is a Japanese beer. So the sign is basically saying, 'Live a remarkable life ... by drinking beer.' !?!?
I can't quite see how a life drinking beer is remarkable. It's not exactly something you would consider when compiling your bucket list...
First dude: "What have you got on your bucket list?"
Second dude: "Well I'd like to snorkel at the Great Barrier Reef, trek the Inca Trail, and swim the English Channel. However, top of the list, more than anything else what I'd really like to do is ... drink some beer."
First dude: "Wow! Drink some beer! That really would be living a remarkable life!"
4) Adventurous cuisine
In Newcastle indoor market there's a food stall with the slogan...
"Innovative food without compromise."
I like trying new foods so the promise of 'innovative food' appealed to my curiosity and I decided to check them out. However, I was slightly disappointed to discover that their definition of 'innovative' differs slightly from mine. The first food I discovered in their freezers were...
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| 'Ground-breaking' food from Newcastle indoor market. |
Undeterred, I continued looking, only to discover that the next food on sale was...
Sausages
I have to admit, it wasn't looking too innovative so far, so I carried on looking to find that the next food that caught my eye was...
Pizzas
Still not really what I'd call 'innovative' but I decided to have one last try and in the next freezer I found...
Garlic bread
Hmm, perhaps if you were Peter Kay's dad then you might regard garlic bread as innovative, but for everyone else I think it's safe to say that they were perhaps a little 'generous with the truth' when making their 'innovative' advertising claims.
5) More computer jargon
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| "Explore beyond limits..." But not with a suitcase ... with a laptop! |
"Acer ... explore beyond limits."
Really? Explore beyond limits? Imagine going into a computer shop and having the following conversation:
Shopper: "Hi, I'd like to buy a laptop. Could you advise which one I should buy?"
Salesperson: "Certainly. What would you be using the laptop for?"
Shopper: "To explore beyond limits."
Salesperson: "You're in luck! I've got the perfect laptop for you..."
Somehow, it doesn't seem very plausible to me.
This blog post was written by Charles Fudgemuffin, proponent for an undaunted vision of an audacious future.
Charles is also the author of several books, including the lighthearted crime novel 'Fly-Tipping', which is available for kindle from Amazon.
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