Funny football quotes (part 17)

This weekend brings good news for football fans with withdrawal symptoms over the summer, because a new season of the Premier League starts today!

We've managed to obtain a photo of the footballer
that David Pleat was referring to.

As has become customary, the Charles Fudgemuffin blog celebrates the new season by bringing you another collection of amusing football themed quotes from players, managers, and pundits.

1) “He is an interesting player ... short back legs.”
...David Pleat

And what about his front legs? Are they short as well?



2) “That kind of natural understanding doesn’t develop naturally.”
…Kenny Cunningham



3) “I will never forget my first game for England at the World Cup. It was against Turkey. No, I mean Tunisia.”
…David Seaman

Things that unintentionally made me laugh (part 5)

Regular readers of the Charles Fudgemuffin blog may be aware that on some occasions I find amusement in things that aren't intended to be funny. This week's blog post is another round up of items fitting that description.

1) Dog drawing contest

To start things off, here's a dog drawing contest that made me laugh.

"Remember that the winner of this contest was chosen through likes."

Personally, I don't understand why they felt the need to clarify how the winner was chosen. Surely the artistic brilliance of the winner would have shone through whatever method they used?

Random thoughts (part 13)

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at a selection of random subjects, including energy drinks, weather forecasts, and social media. As this is the 13th such collection of random thoughts, I've cleverly entitled it, 'Random thoughts (part 13)'.

A bald man.

Editor: "Charles, was the caption really necessary? I think the
readers can work out for themselves that it's a bald man."

1) Bald curiosity

When bald men wash their face, how high up do they go?

2) Breaking news

If liars pants really did catch on fire, then watching the news would be a lot more entertaining!

3) Cool idea

I wish there was a way to use your phone to text someone, but instead of typing what you want to say, you would just say it out loud into the phone and the other person could hear you and they could just talk back to you out loud.

Inspirational motivational quotes

Years ago when I used to use facebook, I remember that a few of my facebook friends would often post motivational quotes on their timelines. This week I've decided to take inspiration from those quotes and share a few motivational quotes myself.

However, you may notice that some of the following 'motivational' quotes aren't quite as motivational as they first seem...

1) Parent quote

To start things off, here's an embarassed looking cat that looked a good fit for the accompanying quote.

"Don't be ashamed of who you are. That's your parents job!"

Superhero related thoughts (part 3)

Superhero fans will know that a new Deadpool movie comes out next week (July 26th, 2024, to be precise). Technically speaking, Deadpool isn't really a superhero, he's a villain who became so popular that Marvel decided to loosely convert him to a 'hero' for financial purposes.

Deadpool.
A former villain turned ... still a villain, really.

However, even though Deadpool isn't really a superhero, I've nevertheless decided to use it as an excuse for another round-up of random superhero related thoughts.

1) A dubious moral of the story

Most superheroes ganied their power either from an accident or they were born with them. Most villains gained their power from having extreme intelligence or years of hard work.

What message are Marvel and DC trying to teach us?

2) Green light for crime

The Bat Signal basically tells every criminal in Gotham that Batman is going to be busy, so the best time to commit a crime would be while the Bat Signal is on.

Question of the day (part 3)

If it's good enough for Alan Partridge, then it's good enough for the Charles Fudgemuffin blog! I'm talking of course about the 'Question of the day' which Alan features on his Mid Morning Matters phone in show.

Another batch of questions designed to get you thinking,
starting with a money themed dilemma.

Alan's questions of the day are designed to be serious, but can often be unintentionally silly. The following questions are deliberately chosen to be a mixture of serious and silly.

Serious:

1) Would you rather win ten thousand pounds or your best friend wins a million pounds?



Silly:

2) Isn't it worrying that doctors call what they do 'practice'?

The funny side of fashion

It's National Fashion Day on July 9th, so to celebrate this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a lighthearted look at the latest styles and trends.

1) The Nando's look

Barber: "How would you like your hair cut?"
Footballer: "Well, you know the Nando's logo..."
Barber: "No problem!"

Credit: Who Ate All The Pies

What a peri unusual hairstyle!