For sale: Self assembly snowman

In search of a little extra cash over the Christmas season...

At this time of year there always seem to be a lot of financial obligations which place a burden on your wallet. To help my fiscal situation I've therefore decided to sell a few items around the house which I personally have no use for, and with that in mind I've created a few adverts.

First up on my list of things for sale is this self assembly snowman...

iPhone 4 (640x960)

10 Santa and Christmas jokes

A few festive riddles for Christmas.

Santa taking a quick break from his festive
responsibilities to pose for a photo.

Santa is perhaps regarded by many people as an old fashioned figure who likes to uphold traditions. However, in actual fact Santa likes to think of himself as a hip and streetwise dude in touch with all the latest trends.

In fact on his journey around the world on Christmas Eve, Santa is planning to stop at every house to take a selfie. This may add some time to his journey, so kids are therefore asked to show some patience if Santa is a few hours late with their presents. Rest assured that he will arrive eventually.

As well as being hip and up-to-date, Santa is also famous for his catchphrase, "Ho! Ho! Ho!", so he obviously enjoys a laugh and has a good sense of humour. So to celebrate the festive period, here are a few Santa and Christmas themed jokes. Be warned though, that most of these puns are very cheesy and are aimed at a younger audience.

1) What did Santa suffer from when he got stuck in the chimney?
Claustrophobia.


2) What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!

Three Christmas gift ideas for the shopper with more money than sense!

There are now only 11 shopping days until Christmas, so if you're looking for a unique and creative gift for a friend, or even for yourself, then here are a few ideas which are ideal for anyone with more money than sense...

1)  Sign up to the Time Travel fund!

Time travellers from the future, pictured tomorrow.

If you're looking for an exciting gift for the friend that has everything, then here's something they probably don't have. The chance to travel to the future!

The Time Travel Fund is a website where you pay ten dollars to register your details on the time travel database. Then once people from the future discover the secret of time travel, they will then refer to this database and come back in time to get you, so they can then transport you to the future! Wow! What a brilliant present! And I'm sure that people from the future will definitely refer to this time travel database once they inevitably discover the secret of time travel.

As if the chance to travel to the future wasn't enough, you also get a signed certificate on acid free paper which you can mount on your wall. People from the future can then use this certificate for verification purposes once they come back in time to get you and transport you to the future. Pretty amazing value for only ten dollars!
Time travel fund website

10 nerd jokes (part 3)

Salt.
One of the ingredients in pun number 2.

I've mentioned before that I'm a fan of nerd related humour, so I therefore reckon it's time for another round-up of nerd jokes.

Apologies to any non-nerds for this overdose of nerdosity, but for fans of nerd jokes this latest batch of jokes features photons, root beer, and paradoxical psychologists.

1) A photon checks into a hotel and the receptionist asks him if he has any luggage. The photon replies, "No, I'm travelling light."


2) What happened when salt was touched by holy water?
Solvation.


3) How did the nerd make beer?
He put his root beer in a square cup.