Also, if you're a dog owner, rather than a dog, then you're also in the right place, as I've also included a few top tips for dog owners, so hopefully there should be something here for everyone.
Anyway, without further ado, let's get straight on with the tips...
1) Hungry dogs. Steal a doughnut the same color as your fur and then sit really still. That way, your owners will never notice.
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| "If I don't move, and just stare straight ahead, then I think I'll get away with it." |
2) Dog owners. Convince your dog you've invented a death machine by switching on your vacuum cleaner.
3) Dogs. Barking at nothing is a great way to get attention. Do it at 3am for maximum effect.
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| "I think I know what you want me to do, but perhaps you'd better give me another treat, just to make sure." |
4) Potential disaster victims. Always carry hot dogs in your pocket. That way, in the event of a natural disaster, the search dogs will find you first!
5) Puppies. Owners give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.
6) Dog owners. Trick kennel owners into believing your dog is deaf by booking them in under a false name.
7) Naughty dogs. If you can't hide a crime scene, just pretend you are a victim.
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| "Oh, I'm so glad you're home. The cat's been really naughty. Look at what he did!" |
8) Dog owners. Undermine the confidence of your neighbours by giving your dog the same name as their child.
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| "But how can you still be mad at me when I look so cute?" |
You'll definitely fit, and your owner will be happy to share their space with you!
10) Naughty dogs. If you've done something wrong, like chewing up your owner's favourite shoes, try to look as guilty as possible.
That way it's harder for them to stay mad at you!
You can find more dog related silliness, and also more top tip related silliness, below:
Top tips for parents
Cats and dogs (part 6)
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