Random thoughts (part 10)

It's been ten months since I featured my last round-up of random thoughts, and since I average around one thought per month that means I've now had enough random thoughts to put together another blog post of random thoughts!

"Don't worry! I'll watch your things for you!"

This week's collection of random thoughts features such random subjects as identical twins, butlers, and to start things off, a beach based random thought...

1) Misplaced trust

On the beach I've often been asked by complete strangers to watch their stuff while they go in the sea for a swim, because they're afraid that a complete stranger might steal their stuff.

How do they know I'm not the stranger they're afraid of that would steal their stuff!?

2) Impeccable timing

News reports often refer to an untimely death. That begs the question, is there such a thing as a timely death?

10 jokes about writers

It's officially National Writing Day in a few days' time (June 23rd), so to celebrate here are a few jokes about writing and writers...

A touching story.

1) I'm currently reading a book written in Braille.
It's a touching story.



2) I recently read a novel about a man who had a small garden.
It didn't have much of a plot.



3) Eleven vowels, 17 consonants, an exclamation mark and a comma appeared in court today. They are due to be sentenced next week.

Funny things kids say (part 9)

According to the saying, "Kids say the funniest things," so as has become quite a habit on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, here's another collection of funny things kids say taken from the internet and real life...

"You could reach it if you weren't so nearly tall."

1) Height is in the eye of the beholder

To start things off, here's a unique perspective from my cousin's 3 year old daughter...

Grandad: "You're short."
3 year old: "No, I'm not short. I'm nearly tall."

She's definitely a 'glass half full' kind of person!

2) Library larcenists

If you don't follow @XplodingUnicorn on twitter, then you're missing out on amusing tweets like this one from a trip to the library...

5 year old: "How much does this book cost?"
Me: "It's free."
5 year old: "Are we stealing?"

Accidental Partridge

Alan Partridge returned to our screens recently with another series of This Time, but sadly this week it comes to an end. So for any Alan Partridge fans out there, here are a few examples of Accidental Partridge to keep you going until series three.

At the end of the article you can vote for your favourite Accidental Partridge example, and to start things off here's a classic Accidental Partridge example from The Guardian...

1) "A cup of tea is a hot, wet, aromatic Swiss army knife"

I'm not sure the metaphor really works, which to be fair, only makes it even more of a contender for Accidental Partridge!

Despite the ridiculousness of the headline, it still makes more sense than anything else ever published by The Guardian.