Controversial questions (part 2)

Here at the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, we're not afraid to ask controversial questions, so this week it's time to shine the spotlight on controversial subjects once again, as we take a look at polarising topics such as sandwiches, tomato ketchup, and of course no article on controversial questions would be complete without a discussion on toilet rolls.

But to start things off, let's ask...

A sandwich.
To cut or not to cut, that is not the question.
The question is how to cut.

1) Should sandwiches be cut into rectangles or triangles?

I have to admit I generally don't bother cutting sandwiches at all, and if I'm feeling really lazy I don't even bother putting butter on my sandwich!

However, as I discovered when I recently raised the subject at work, for many people the topic of how to cut your sandwiches can be a very emotional subject.

But which side of the fence to you sit on?

Fawlty Tea Rooms

Basil Fawlty is one of the all-time classic soap sitcom characters, and during his time as manager of Fawlty Towers, be came out with some great insults. Here are some insults directed at his wife Sybil:

"My little piranha fish."

"Sybil has spent a hard day slaving under the hairdryer."

"Why don't you have another vat of wine dear?"

"My little piranha fish."

"Why don't you syringe the doughnuts out of your ears?"

When Sybil is trying to remember if she has forgotten anything: "Handbag, knuckle dusters, flick knife?"

When Sybil is going out in the car: "Don't drive over any mines or anything!"

After Sybil complains of having a difficult day: "Oh Dear! Did you get entangled in the eiderdown again? Not enough cream in your eclair? You didn't have time to perm your ears?"

However, it appears that Basil may have a real life rival, if the replies to some of the reviews of The Well Walk Tea Rooms on Trip Advisor are anything to go by.

Before I get to the replies, I should point out that The Well Walk Tea Rooms has an overall rating of 4.5 stars, so any negative reviews are very definitely in the minority. Anyway, check out some of the replies from the manager...

True or false: Weird national days (part 2)

I've featured Weird National Days before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, and as I often like to recycle ideas, here's another batch of weird and wacky national days.

However, once again, to test your wits I've also included a few random made-up days. See if you can guess which of the following are real national days, and which are nothing more than figments of my imagination...

Soup.
Ideal for swapping.

1) Jan 20th - National Soup Swap Day

A day when you swap soup with your friends and colleagues!

Why do we need a special day for this? I would have thought surely most people swap soup with their friends and colleagues every day?

National Soup Swap Day - True or false?

Stupid questions: The 'Guess my age' game

"Guess how old I am? Go on, have a guess! You'll never guess!"

Previously on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I've highlighted stupid questions, and perhaps the most stupid question of all-time can be found at the following link:

"And the award for the most stupid question ever goes to..."

All of the previously featured stupid questions have been stupid because the answer is so obvious.  However, this week's stupid question is stupid for another reason.

The stupid question in question this week is the question...

"How old do you think I am?"

Perhaps this would be better described as a 'dangerous' question, rather than a stupid question, but either way, you'd have to be stupid to risk answering it.  And if anyone ever does answer this question, they never answer honestly.  Instead, their mind process works like this...

True or false: Six scary 'facts' for Halloween (part 2)

It's Halloween in a few days' time, so with that in mind my latest short story, 'Burn The Witch', has a kind of a scary theme to it!

'Burn The Witch'
The latest short story from Charles Fudgemuffin.

But the Halloween theme isn't over yet, because to continue the scariness, this week's blog post features a true or false quiz with a scary Halloween theme.

Take a look at the following facts and bluffs, and see if you can suss out which claims are true, and which claims are nothing but a devious bluff...

1) Scary Creepy director

In the movie Halloween, the character Laurie Strode was named after the director John Carpenter's first girlfriend ... which I find a little bit creepy to name the slasher victim after your ex-girlfriend.

True or false?

The Idiot Awards!

This week sees the start of a new feature on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog ... the Idiot Awards! Not that any explanation is needed, but the Idiot Awards officially recognise excellence in the field of idiocy!

Earth.
Home to numerous idiots.

Here are the first batch of winners...

1) Law abiding criminals

To start things off, this week's first Idiot Award goes to Geoffrey Vos who proposed that the government should introduce a new law to force people to carry a mobile phone that was permanently switched on, because this would make it easier to track and catch criminals.

Yes, of course it would, Geoffrey, because criminals would definitely follow the law, wouldn't they?

Oh, hang on ... I think I've spotted one tiny flaw in Geoffrey's logic, which I've highlighted with the following conversation between two hypothetical criminals...

10 cool Swedish words and expressions (part 4)

I love the Swedish language, so I've featured posts on Swedish words before on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, and this week it's time for another round-up of some of my favourite cool Swedish words and expressions...

"Ribbit!"

1) Teenage mutant ninja shield toads!

As I've highlighted in previous blog posts, the Swedish language has quite a few words which describe something in a creative manner, and the Swedish word for turtle also follows that pattern.

In Swedish, a turtle is known as a 'sköldpadda' which literally translates as a 'shield toad'. If you're being creative, then I suppose a turtle does kind of look like a toad with a shield on its back.