Stupid questions

Stupid questions

Stupid questions always seem to get a lot of page views whenever I feature them on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, so here are a few more.

The following stupid questions have been compiled from various forums, facebook, and real life experience...

1) At the supermarket

This is a question often asked at the supermarket which always leaves me puzzled whenever I buy a trolley full of items...

Check-out assistant: "Would you like a bag?"
Says: "Yes, please."

Thinks: "A bag? For these twenty cumbersome items? No, don't worry about a bag. Fortunately I'm an expert juggler so I'll just juggle these twenty items as I walk home."

A globe.
Note: Not to actual scale.

2) At a shop

One posted by a friend on facebook...

Customer: "Do you sell globes?"
Shop Assistant (points to globe on display): "We have a table-top model over here."
Customer: "That's not big enough. Do you have a life size model?"

?!?!?  Life size model? You're standing on it!

3) At the library

Here's a stupid question posted on a library forum...

One visitor to the library asked the library assistant if they had a book on Malcolm the Tenth.  The librarian was confused at first and wondered if maybe Malcolm could have perhaps been a king, hence 'Malcolm the Tenth'.

However, the mystery was eventually resolved when they realised he meant 'Malcolm X'.

"Does the bus stop here?"
"Whatever gave you that idea?"

4) At the bus stop

This is a question asked only by stupid people when you're waiting at the bus stop...

Random passerby: "Excuse me, is there a bus due?"
Says: "Yes."

Thinks: "No, I'm just waiting here randomly at the bus stop for no reason."



Here are a few from a forum on stupid questions...

5) At a credit card call centre

A question from someone who fails to grasp the concept of time...

Customer: "My payment was due three days ago. If I mail the payment to you now, will it get there on time?"

!?!?  Not unless you own a time machine!

6) At an electronic store

Customer: "I want to buy a TV.  What's the cheapest TV you sell?"
Assistant: "We have a 13 inch model for $59.99."
Customer: "How big is that?"
Assistant: "Thirteen inches."
Customer: "What's the next cheapest TV you sell?"
Assistant: "We have a 14 inch model for $69.99."
Customer: "Is the 14 inch TV bigger than the 13 inch?"
Assistant: "Yes."
Customer: "How much bigger?"

!?!?  Seriously, how bad must you be at maths to have to ask a question like that!

7) In a clothing store

One lady asked a store assistant, "Will this belt fit my son?"  Her son wasn't with her, so the store assistant asked what size her son was.  The customer replied, "I don't know.  He's 16 years old, though."

Oh, well that solves it then, because of course all 16 year olds are exactly the same size!

"What time is it?"
"Three and a half oranges."

8) In a shop

Customer: "What time do you close?"
Shop Assistant: "At 5."
Customer: "O'clock?"

!?!?  Of course o'clock!  What else could he possibly mean?  We close at five oranges?  At five kilograms?  At five pounds?

9) At a hotel

Customer: "Do you have any rooms available for the July 17th?"
Receptionist: "No, I'm sorry we're fully booked for that date."
Customer: "Do you know if there are going to be any cancellations?"

!?!?  Let's see.  I'll just get my crystal ball...

10) In an office

The remote little village called London which hasn't yet been
added to the UK telecoms network, according to one lady.

In one of my previous jobs I received a telephone call from a lady who asked about her husband's wages.  I had to politely explain that we can only discuss personal financial details with the employee themself...

Employee's wife: "But I'm his wife!"
Me: "I'm sorry, but legally I can only discuss your husband's wages with your husband.  If your husband rings then I'm happy to discuss it with him directly."
Wife: "Well he's in London today, so how is he supposed to call you from London?"

I thought to myself, "Hmm, how can he possibly call from London? Actually, I'm pretty sure the telecoms network has now been extended to that remote little village known as London."

I didn't say that though obviously, otherwise she might have thought I was being sarcastic.*  Instead I just politely explained that if her husband was unable to find a way to call from London then he would have to call at a later date once he had access to a phone.

* And she'd have been right.

That's it for this week, but stupid questions always make me smile so I'll probably feature another batch of stupid questions in another blog post at some point in the future.

You can find out what was possibly a contender for the most stupid question of all time at the link below:
"And the award for the most stupid question of all time goes to..."