Hair transplants, dinosaurs, and tennis goggles.
|Dinosaur, pictured on his wedding day...|
1) Hair today, gone tomorrow
Here's one from the paper...
Daughter: "Mammy, why have I got brown hair and you've got blonde hair?"
Mother: "It's cos you got your hair from your dad."
Daughter: "Oh, so that's why he's bald!"
2) Inappropriate honesty (part 1)
Sticking with the theme of hair, a lady where I work has a rather inappropriately honest daughter...
Grandma: "I love your hair! I wish I had hair like that."
Grandkid: "Grandma, why do you care about hair? You'll be dead soon."
3) Inappropriate honesty (part 2)
And another example of misplaced honesty...
"Nanny, why have you got a beard? Does that mean you're a man?"
4) A genuine authentic note from his parent
Here's an amusing note tweeted by @bubblebumukltd which was definitely written by Ronnie's mom...
|"What I say goes..."|
Don't mess with Ronnie's mom!
5) Money matters
While in Poundland the other day, I overheard one big sister giving her younger brother a lesson in finance...
Younger brother: "How much is this?"
Slightly older sister: "Duh! A pound!"
Here's a conversation tweeted by @joshuabest which shows that Frederick is obviously someone who subscribes to the philosophy of 'live life to the fullest
April: "You like to be alive, don't you?"
Frederick: "I don't want to die ever again!"
7) Can you find it?
The kid who filled in this word search is obviously very good at following instructions...
8) Kid logic
Kid: "My mummy's packed my goggles for swimming."
Teacher: "We're not going swimming today. We're playing tennis."
Kid: "Do I still have to wear them?"
9) "I now pronounce you
man and wife..."
@XplodingUnicorn's daughter has her life goals planned out...
Me: "What do you think your future husband will be like?"
5 year-old daughter: "Tall, handsome, and a dinosaur."
10) "When I was a lad..."
Finally, here's a story about what life was like in the olden days...
...according to my cousin's son.
|Rainbows weren't as impressive in the olden days|
when the world was black and white.
His mam was a bit confused by this comment so her son elaborated, "You know, in the olden days when everything was black and white."
After my cousin had stopped laughing she explained to him that in the olden days the world wasn't actually black and white! It was just old photos and old TV programmes which were black and white!
I was laughing when she told me, but I suppose if you're a young kid who's used to modern technology, then when you see old photos with everything in black and white, it would be logical to assume that the world must have been black and white in the olden days!
You can find more funny sayings by kids below:
Funny Things Kids Say (Part 1)
Funny Things Kids Say (Part 2)
The Wisdom Of Kids
. . . . . . . .
|'Crime Doesn't Pay'|
A forthcoming light-hearted collection of crime themed short stories.
I've more or less narrowed it down to a choice between the 'blood splatters' cover and the 'ripped leather' cover, but if anyone wants to help me make my final decision you can vote at the link below:
Choosing A Book Cover For 'Crime Doesn't Pay'