Saturday, 5 November 2016

Funny Things Kids Say (Part 3)

Hair transplants, dinosaurs, and tennis goggles.


Dinosaur, pictured on his wedding day...
(See below.)
My previous blog posts on the theme of 'funny things kids say' always seem to get a lot of page views, so here's another round-up of 'kidisms'.  The following are taken from real life, twitter and facebook, with twitter links included where appropriate, and to start things off here's one example where kids take things literally...

1) Hair today, gone tomorrow


Here's one from the paper...

Daughter: "Mammy, why have I got brown hair and you've got blonde hair?"
Mother: "It's cos you got your hair from your dad."
Daughter: "Oh, so that's why he's bald!"



2) Inappropriate honesty (part 1)


Sticking with the theme of hair, a lady where I work has a rather inappropriately honest daughter...

Grandma: "I love your hair!  I wish I had hair like that."
Grandkid: "Grandma, why do you care about hair?  You'll be dead soon."



3) Inappropriate honesty (part 2)


And another example of misplaced honesty...

"Nanny, why have you got a beard?  Does that mean you're a man?"



4) A genuine authentic note from his parent


Here's an amusing note tweeted by @bubblebumukltd which was definitely written by Ronnie's mom...

"What I say goes..."

Don't mess with Ronnie's mom!



5) Money matters


While in Poundland the other day, I overheard one big sister giving her younger brother a lesson in finance...

Younger brother: "How much is this?"
Slightly older sister: "Duh! A pound!"



6) Y.O.L.T.


Here's a conversation tweeted by @joshuabest which shows that Frederick is obviously someone who subscribes to the philosophy of 'live life to the fullest'...

April: "You like to be alive, don't you?"
Frederick: "I don't want to die ever again!"



7) Can you find it?


The kid who filled in this word search is obviously very good at following instructions...




8) Kid logic


Kid: "My mummy's packed my goggles for swimming."
Teacher: "We're not going swimming today. We're playing tennis."
Kid: "Do I still have to wear them?"



9) "I now pronounce you man and wife..."


@XplodingUnicorn's daughter has her life goals planned out...

Me: "What do you think your future husband will be like?"
5 year-old daughter: "Tall, handsome, and a dinosaur."



10) "When I was a lad..."


Finally, here's a story about what life was like in the olden days...
...according to my cousin's son.

Rainbows weren't as impressive in the olden days
when the world was black and white.
My cousin's son was looking at old photos, and in one of the photos his house was painted orange, so he asked his mam, "Was that the colour you painted it after it was black and white?"

His mam was a bit confused by this comment so her son elaborated, "You know, in the olden days when everything was black and white."

After my cousin had stopped laughing she explained to him that in the olden days the world wasn't actually black and white!  It was just old photos and old TV programmes which were black and white!

I was laughing when she told me, but I suppose if you're a young kid who's used to modern technology, then when you see old photos with everything in black and white, it would be logical to assume that the world must have been black and white in the olden days!




You can find more funny sayings by kids below:
Funny Things Kids Say (Part 1)
Funny Things Kids Say (Part 2)
The Wisdom Of Kids

. . . . . . . .

'Crime Doesn't Pay'
A forthcoming light-hearted collection of crime themed short stories.
Thanks to everyone who voted to help me choose a book cover for 'Crime Doesn't Pay'.

I've more or less narrowed it down to a choice between the 'blood splatters' cover and the 'ripped leather' cover, but if anyone wants to help me make my final decision you can vote at the link below:
Choosing A Book Cover For 'Crime Doesn't Pay'

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About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.