Formula 1: How fast is it?

How does the speed of a formula 1 car compare with other speeds? Read on for a comparison...

A formula 1 car can reach speeds of up to 231.5 mph.
Not this one, though.  This one was stationary

The formula 1 championship comes to an end this weekend, so this week I analyse how the speed of a formula 1 car compares with the speed of a variety of other objects, creatures and events.  As a starting reference point, the maximum speed recorded by a formula 1 car was 231.5 mph set by Juan Pablo Montoya at Monza during the 2005 Italian Grand Prix.

Listed below you can see how Juan Pablo Montoya's feat compares with a variety of other significant speeds.  Here they all are starting with the slowest first...

1) The top speed of the world's fastest snail* = 0.0313 mph

* The speckled garden snail.

Funny job application answers

If you want advice on how not to get a job, have a read of the following job application answers...

"The successful applicant must be hard working,
good with figures, and of course...
do excellent dinosaur impressions."

At one of my previous jobs my supervisor asked the senior manager, who was a bit of a joker, to have a quick look at her CV to see if he could suggest any improvements. For a sneaky prank, the senior manager added the following entry to her CV...

Hobbies: Swearing and shoplifting.

Incredibly, some real life job applicants* have actually given answers just as inappropriate, so for this week's blog post I've featured a round-up of unusual answers taken from CVs, job application forms and job interviews...

* Presumably unsuccessful.

1) In one word, summarise your strongest professional attribute:
I'm very good at following instructions.


2) Skills: I can do an excellent triceratops impersonation.

10 interesting Chinese words and expressions

From time to time on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I take a look at interesting words found in other languages from around the world, and this week I focus on Chinese. Please note, I'm not a fluent Chinese speaker, so apologies if I haven't explained any of the following expressions with perfect linguistic clarity.

Anyway, here are a few Chinese words which I found amusing or interesting, with themes including vinegar jars, invisible glasses, and flatulent dogs...

Dog fart!
Please note, a cuddly toy dog has been used for the purposes of
this photo in order to avoid causing embarrassment to any real dogs.

1) Dog fart!

In English, if someone was expressing an opinion you disagreed with, you might reply, "Rubbish!" or "Nonsense!" or if you were old-fashioned and slightly posh you might say "Poppycock!"

If you spoke Chinese, however, you might reply 'gǒupì!' (狗屁) which more or less means the same thing as 'Nonsense!' but rather amusingly, it literally translates as 'Dog fart!'

If you want to have hours of amusement at work, then I recommend introducing the expression 'dog fart!' to your office, and I can testify from my own experience that it's guaranteed to produce hours of childish hilarity!

What's that you say? 'Dog fart'? No, I promise you it's true.

Funny things kids say

Cuddly toys for 'cuddly' parents.

This week I feature a collection of amusing comments by kids, taken from facebook and twitter (links to original tweeters provided).

The names have been changed to protect the innocent...

1) Cuddly parents

To start things off, here’s a status posted by a facebook friend with a very diplomatic daughter…

“My 8 year old daughter just said, “You know, some people think they are fat when they are really not ... they are just cuddly. And you are the second most cuddly person I know!”

Ha, ha! That's the type of compliment that only a kid could get away with.