10 music jokes (part 4)

It's National Music Day on June 21st, so taking inspiration from the theme of music, this week's blog post features a collection of musical themed jokes...

Badum, tsch.

1) I was in the Post Office queue the other day when Diana Ross tried to push in.
I said to her, "You can't hurry, love. You'll just have to wait."



2) What did the the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two!



3) Surely Jon Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

Funny things kids say (part 10)

A theme I often like to feature on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog is funny quotes by kids. In fact it's featured so often that this is the tenth instalment of 'funny things kids say'!

Anyway, here's another collection of amusing things said by kids...

One kid would rather have a puppy than a brother or sister.

1) Kid's best friend

To start things off, here's a conversation from a video clip that was posted on twitter by @FunnymanPage.

Parent: "Do you want a brother or a sister?"
Kid: "A puppy!"

To be fair, puppies are pretty cool.

2) Incredible!

This funny story from the giraffian website made me chuckle:

My daughter was watching me while I was on facebook, and saw my 'friends'. One of my friends has an image of Edna from The Incredibles as her profile photo, a movie our family loves, especially my daughter! In total amazement, she immediately said, "You know EDNA!?!?!"

It must be so exciting as a kid to discover your parent is apparently friends with one of your favourite cartoon characters!

Stupid autocorrect!

Autocorrect is a great idea in theory, but in reality I find myself correcting autocorrect more than autocorrect corrects me!

Anyway, on that theme this week the Charm Fuddlemuffler Charles Fudgemuffin blog takes a look at autocrat autocorrelation autocorrect...

1) Google were one of the first to introduce a form of autocorrect with their 'Did you mean' search suggestions, as illustrated below...

#irony

Search: "I cant stand being corrected."

Google: "Did you mean I can't stand being corrected."

Things that unintentionally made me laugh (part 3: stupid criminals)

From time to time I like to look at things that weren't supposed to be funny, but which my weird sense of humour nevertheless found amusing. This week it's the turn of criminals and potential criminals, with this week's blog post focusing on three unintentionally amusing lawbreakers and potential lawbreakers. As a sevice to any similar minded potential criminals reading this blog post, I've also included some advice for each example.

To start things off, here's a story which had me chuckling away to myself at the absurdity of the criminal in question...

This week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog
takes a look at foolish criminals.

1) Breach of contract

This is so ridiculous that you'll think I'm making it up, so look it up if you don't believe me. The story involves a woman who hired a hitman to kill her boyfriend for her. However, things didn't go to plan when instead the hitman kept the money and didn't kill her boyfriend.

Now I don't know what most people would do in a situation like this, because most people wouldn't hire a hitman in the first place. However, I know what most people wouldn't do, and that's report the hitman to the police. Yet that's exactly what this crazy woman did! She contacted the police to report the hitman for breach of contract!

Presumably the conversation must have went something like this...

Funny football quotes (part 13)

I like to mark the end of each football* season with a football themed blog post, so as the Premier League comes to an end this weekend here's another round-up of funny football quotes from managers, players and pundits...

Why was the duck given a red card?
For fowl-play.

* Or 'soccer' for the benefit of any American readers.

1) "I don't know if that result is enough to lift Birmingham off the bottom of the table, although it'll certainly take them above Sunderland."
…Mike Ingham



2) "If it stays as it is, I can’t see it altering."
…Graham Taylor sticks his neck out.



3) "There were two second division matches last night, both in the second division."
...Dominic Allen

Happy 10th birthday to Charles Fudgemuffin!

Incredibly, this week it's the 10th anniversary of the Charles Fudgemuffin blog! I've had some significant milestones along the way (such as reaching half a million page views a couple of years ago), but when I started the blog I never imagined I'd still be waffling on each week after ten years!

Anyway, in recognition of my 'birthday', this week's blog post features a birthday themed multiple choice statistical dilemma...

Happy Birthday!
...but to how many people?

Birthday conundrum

If two people are in the same room, there is a 1 in 365 chance of them sharing the same birthday, or a 0.27% chance.

If 366 people are in the same room, there is a 100% chance that at least two of them will share the same birthday.¹

So the question is, how many people would need to be in the room for there to be a 50% chance or greater that at least two people will share a birthday?

A) 23 people
B) 46 people
C) 92 people
D) 183 people

Silly pie charts (part 2)

For statisticians, pie charts are a useful tool for presenting data in an easy to understand format. However, an even better use for pie charts is for making daft jokes on the internet!

With that in mind, this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features another collection of silly pie charts.

1) Yoda

This first pie chart owes its inspiration to the wisdom of Yoda.

"Your choices, as per Yoda."

"Do or do not, there is no try."