Legal disclaimer: For some of the examples, the term 'paradox' is used very loosely.
1) The reading paradox
Who exactly is this banner aimed at?
People who can read, don't need it, and people who can't read, can't read it.
2) The humble paradox
The moment you claim to have humility, you are performing an act of self-praise, and are therefore no longer humble.
Or to put it another way, acknowledging you are humble instantly negates the quality you are claiming to possess.
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| A time machine, pictured tomorrow. |
3) The time machine paradox
I bought a second hand time machine next Saturday.
They don't make them like they're going to anymore.
4) The agreement paradox
I saw a comment on a football forum recently which said:
"I think I'm on my own here but in my opinion, the Swiss were lucky."
To which someone had replied:
"100% agree."
How can you 100% agree? If you also think the Swiss were lucky, then you agree with them, therefore they're not on they're own. In which case you only 50% agree with them, so they are on their own after all. But that means you can 100% agree, but that means they're not on their own, which means...
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| An anti-social social gathering. |
5) The social media paradox
If you check your social media in public, it becomes 'anti-social media'.
6) The buttered cat paradox
Cats always land on their feet and buttered toast always lands buttered side down.
So what would happen if you attached buttered toast to the back of a cat?
7) The speechlessful paradox
If someone says, "I'm speechless!", doesn’t that mean they were able to talk, and are therefore not speechless?
8) The two piers paradox
Some people see two piers, but I see a paradox*.
* Pair o' docks.
9) The tennis paradox
Here's a paradoxical quote from tennis commentator Dan Maskell.
"When Martina is tense, it helps her relax."
Yes, I always find that being tense helps me relax as well! #NotReally
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| A human brain trying to understand the human brain. |
10) The human brain paradox
If the human brain was simple enough for us to fully understand, we’d be so simple we couldn’t understand it.
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Some of the examples do admittedly stretch the definition of the word 'paradox', but in my defense this isn't intended as a deeply detailed serious analytic post on the subject of paradoxes. It's just a bit of silliness!
You can find more paradoxes below:
Paradoxes (part 2)
Paradoxes (part 3)
Paradoxes (part 4)
Editor's note: "Charles, what happened to part 1?"
Charles: "It's a demonstration of the paradox of the missing origin. If a reader can't find the beginning, does it truly exist?"
Editor: "Yes, of course it does! Just because you can't be bothered to link to something, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist!"
Charles: "I was trying to be clever! Stop spoiling it!"
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