Top tips (part 8)

If you're looking for serious advice, then you've come to the wrong place. If you're looking for silly advice, however, then this week's blog post should be perfect for you, as this week the Charles Fudgemuffin blog features another colection of silly top tips.

AI? Or just a devious criminal?

Credit: memedroid

1) Ugly men. On dating apps, always upload your photos upside down, so when girls flip their phones and swipe left, it actually swipes right.




2) Criminals. Wear a fake extra finger, so any photo or video evidence will be inadmissible as it will appear to be AI generated.

Legal disclaimer: The Charles Fudgemuffin blog does not actually recommend that criminals do this. Charles Fudgemuffin recommends that criminals instead rethink their lives and turn away from their criminal deeds.




3) Pensioners. The government don't want you to live a long happy life, because they owe you your state pension/social security.

Always be skeptical therefore of any health advice that government 'experts' give you.




4) McDonalds. Make your brown paper bags green in colour so that they blend in better with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows 

Is he really hurt? Or just hungover?

Credit: ifunny

5) Lazy untidy people. Always keep several get well soon cards on your mantelpiece. That way any visitors will assume you've been too ill to clean.




6) Alcoholics. Hungover at work? Simply set up a ladder and take a nap at the bottom. If the boss catches you, you can claim you fell and lost consciousness.




7) Makers of the TV show 'Most Haunted'. Rename your show to something more accurate, such as 'There's No Such Thing As Ghosts' or 'It's Just A Radiator Making A Noise Because It's Cooling Down'.




8) Victims of the globalist establishment. Pay someone else to raise your own children, while you go to work to be able to pay for them to raise your children.

Or alternatively, fool your friends into thinking you
met Brad Pitt by going to Madame Tussauds!

9) If you are attacked by a bear, play dead. It will be good practise for when you die a couple of minutes later.




10) Fool your friends into thinking you've spent the day at Madame Tussauds by having your photo taken with David Beckham, Brad Pitt, and Tom Cruise.

Here's another tip! You can find even more top tips below:
Top tips for dogs (and their owners)
Top tips for parents