A Level Results Day jokes

This week thousands of teenagers around the country received their A level results, so I thought this would be an appropriate time to feature a collection of jokes on the theme of education. However, the first two 'jokes' actually have an element of truth to them...

If you look closely, you can see the marine biology
student's grades just below sea level.

1) What the teacher says: "Your homework tonight is to read pages 17-25."
What I hear: "No homework tonight!"


2) What the teacher says: "Your homework should be 4-6 pages long."
What I hear: "Your homework should be 4 pages long."


3) Why did the marine biology student drown?
His grades were below C level.


4) I was too nervous to open my A level results, so I asked my Geordie mate to read them out for me.  I don't know if I got As or Es!

Silly statuses

When links aren't quite what they seem...

A photo link from one of my recent silly statuses.

Anyone who follows me on facebook or twitter may have noticed that I'm often in a silly mood, so over the last few months I've been posting the occasional silly status.

Each of the following statuses makes a supposedly sensible claim, and is accompanied by a link providing further information. However, when you click the link you discover that although the original claims are true, they're nevertheless not always quite what you might expect...

1) First up is a status which will appeal to internet users looking for a foolproof method to get free wifi. However, it involves dubious methods ... or does it?

"A clever wifi hack that lets you use any password protected wifi connection:
http://smarturl.it/WifiConnect"

Funny Google predictions quiz

Killer apples, pregnant men and bra wearing sons...

The world.
Find out how to save it with Google search.

One clever feature of Google Search is that Google learns from previous searches, and then uses this information to create its 'auto-complete' feature. This means that when you start typing a search term, Google will offer predictive suggestions of what it thinks you're about to type.

For example, if you type 'How To Save The', Google will offer predictive suggestions such as:

How To Save The World
How To Save The Rainforest
How To Save The Environment

Most of the time the auto-complete predictions are quite logical. However, on a few occasions they can be quite unexpectedly bizarre, so this week I've decided to highlight a few of these surprising Google suggestions in the form of a quiz.

Book reviews (part 11)

It's time for another round-up of book reviews, as I take a look at books from the genres of comedy, crime and thrillers...

The Awkward Detective: The Bone Donor
by Wright Forbucks

The Awkward Detective: The Bone Donor by Wright Forbucks - 4.8 / 5.0

The Awkward Detective: The Bone Donor tells the story of Jason Mashburn who falls for Molly Wilson, a girl who suffers from a rare blood disease. On learning of Molly's condition, Jason decides he is prepared to do whatever it takes to save the girl of his dreams. However, being a Wright Forbucks novel, there are several clever and unexpected twists along the way. The ending in particular was very well written, bringing together the various plot threads and answering all of my questions, and also answering a few questions I didn't realise need answered!

Wright Forbucks is one of my favourite authors and this is another highly original and unique tale featuring his dark offbeat sense of humour.

A few creative and innovative crowdfunding projects

Crowdfunding websites like kickstarter are all about encouraging creativity and originality, and some really cool ideas have been brought to life through the crowdfunding business model. However, there have also been a few unusual projects, and this week I take a look at some of those 'less conventional' projects, including some projects featuring fresh air, water melons, and pay to not to play...

1) Fresh Air

Fresh air ... now available in a bottle!

Just to prove that there are people out there who will literally buy anything, crowdfunding website indiegogo featured a project from a company which planned to sell bottled air!

The blurb reads...

"Have you ever roamed an Irish mountain, or indeed dreamed of roaming one or sat by the Irish sea as the waves lapped gently over your frozen toes? We've bottled the essence that makes these experiences so unique. Fresh Irish Air."

I visited Ireland a few years ago and I have to say the Irish countryside air was lovely and fresh, so if you were going to sell bottled air then Irish air is the perfect choice. However, I don't think it was quite that amazing that I would pay money for it.

Prank facebook hacking

"Hello everyone. I am about to learn a hard lesson today. I am about to learn not to leave my facebook account logged in at work..."

That was a friend's status on facebook a few weeks ago, and it's also the theme for this week's blog post. I should first of all clarify that Charles Fudgemuffin in no way condones prank facebook hacking, but if you do find yourself with access to a friend's facebook account and you decide to post an embarrassing prank fake status, then the following examples, taken from my own facebook timeline, may provide inspiration for ideas.

A loving husband makes a generous promise to his wife
... or does he?

First of all, here's a standard classic hack...

1) "Best piece of advice you'll ever get... Listen to your wife. She knows best!"

Hmm, I wonder who could have been behind this status?



And a variation on the same theme...

2) "Well today I am going to take my wife shopping and buy her lots of nice things."

Strangely, the husband in question must have then had second thoughts because he replied to his own status with the comment:

"I am soooo not!"

Things that happen every second

At the third stroke, the time will be 11:59 and 60 seconds precisely... 

Every second counts.

If you think last Tuesday seemed to drag and felt like a long day ... you were right! That's because the International Earth Rotation And Reference Systems Service (IERS) added an extra second to Tuesday. This additional second is known as a 'leap second' and is kind of like a leap year only a lot shorter.

To explain the reasoning behind leap seconds, without getting too scientific, the speed of Earth's rotation varies by tiny amounts due to geological occurrences, as well as the pull of the Moon and the Sun, so the leap second is basically a way of ensuring our calendar remains precisely accurate.

You may think, "It's only a second! What's the big deal about a second?" but in actual fact a surprisingly high amount of activity can take place in a single second.

For example, every second...

1) ...the Earth orbits 18.5 miles around the Sun!


2) ...the Solar System travels 155 miles around the galactic centre of the Milky Way!