Funny football quotes (part 11)

Another season of the Premier League starts this weekend, so as has become traditional on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, it's time once again to mark the occasion with another round-up of funny football quotes...

Even this cuddly bear knows that the FA Cup Final
is like a final for all football clubs ... not just Wigan!

1) “For Wigan, this game is like a cup final for them.”
…Ian Wright describing the 2013 FA Cup Final.


2) “It's now 1-1. An exact reversal of the score on Saturday.”
…Radio Commentator


3) “As with every young player these days, Ronaldo is 18.”
…Alex Ferguson

Really, Alex? Every young player is 18? Hmm... I'm no expert on the matter, but I'm pretty sure that's not true, Alex!


4) “It’s an end-to-end game, but I have to say it’s all Southampton.”
…Chris Waddle


5) “The sky is the limit for Jamie Paterson as long as we keep his feet on the ground.”
…Andy Reid


6) Richard Keys: “Well, Harry, do you think that you'll have to finish above Manchester United to win the league?”
Harry Redknapp: “You have to finish above everyone to win the league, Richard.”

For the avoidance of any doubt,
this is not your chest.

7) “In football, time and space are the same thing.”
…Graham Taylor


8) “If you cut me in half, I’m a footballer.”
…Michael Owen

Surely that's a bit of an extreme test to check if someone's a footballer, Michael?


9) “Your chest is different to your head.”
…Glenn Hoddle demonstrates his expertise on human anatomy.


10) “Reminded me of Terry Sheddingham.”
…David Pleat  #LookClosely


11) “It looks tough for Palace when you see some of the results they’ve got coming up.”
…Shaun Derry, the clairvoyant


12) “It's always great starting the season with a team photo which has a cheeky trophy in front of the squad. When I was at Aston Villa we posed with a photocopier under our feet because we were sponsored by its manufacturers. It just wasn't the same somehow.”
…Martin Keown


13) “I am not superstitious. It brings bad luck.”
…Raymond Domenech

"What time is it, David?"
"It's midday."

14) “I'd be surprised if all 22 players are on the pitch at the end of the game. One's already been sent off!”
…George Best

Yes, unless they've changed the rules of football recently, George, then I'd have to agree!


15) “It was really difficult for us, playing in the midday sun with that three o'clock kick-off.”
…David Beckham

- - - - - - - - - -

'Dilly Ding! Dilly Dong! The Leicester City 2015-16 Premier League Story (Told In Quotes)' is available for kindle from Amazon priced at £1.99/$2.99.

From pizza to champagne, from Jamie Vardy having a party to Gary Lineker’s undies, 'Dilly Ding! Dilly Dong!' is the story of the most incredible season in the history of English football, told in quotes by the players, managers, pundits and fans.
Buy 'Dilly Ding! Dilly Dong!' for kindle


- - - - - - - - - -


More funny football quotes:
Funny football quotes (part 8)
Funny football quotes (part 9)
Funny football quotes (part 10)