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| Meteorology ... the perfect training for a job as a stock broker. |
1) Why do you want the job?
If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here.
2) Tell of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it:
I stole some equipment from my old job, and I had to pay for its replacement.
3) I refer to the recent death of the technical manager. Each time I apply for the job I get a reply saying there's no vacancy but in this case, I have caught you red-handed and I even attended his funeral to be sure he was truly dead and buried. Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his death certificate.
4) My goal is be a meteorologist, but since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokeridge.
5) I am twenty-three years old and as such would love to work for a summer sweeping floors and filing, despite my college education at Oxford.
6) Enclosed please find my resume. You mention in your ad that you require a writing sample, but I send out at least fifty resumes a week, and writing samples are expensive.
7) Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn't work under those conditions.
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| Gambling debts. Always worth mentioning when applying for a job. |
Anything available, as long as it doesn’t require much work and pays well.
9) Strengths: I am very loyal to the company I work for with the exception of the one I just left. I had to quit after they discovered that I was sharing proprietary information with their biggest competitor. In my defense, I needed the extra income to pay off my gambling debts.
10) Why did you leave your last job?
I got sacked for punching my boss who asked too many stupid questions.
11) When applying for a customer service job...
What might you not like about the job?
Dealing with people.
12) Skills: Excellent memory skills, good analytical skills, memory skills.
13) Size of current employer?
About 5’10”
14) Reason for leaving last job: Maturity leave.
15) What makes you suitable for the job?
I am able to show up at the office on time, not only during the first week but even after a year of employment.
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I think I detected a subtle hint of sarcasm from job applicant number 5, and number 12 may have been a deliberate joke, but all of the other answers appear to be examples of either genuine stupidity, or misplaced honesty.
You can find even more silly job application answers at the links below:
Funny Job Application Answers
Funny Job Application Answers (Part 2)
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Footnote: The answer to last week's visual movie quiz question was 'Alien Vs Predator'.
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