Saturday, 20 May 2017

Funny Football Quotes (Part 9)

Football. It's a funny old game.
Another Premier League season comes to an end tomorrow, so as has become traditional on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog, here's another batch of amusing football quotes from players, managers, pundits and commentators...

1) “Marseille needed to score first, and that never looked likely once Liverpool had taken the lead.”
…David Pleat

2) “I didn't see the ball. I just saw it going to my right.”
…Robert Green

3) “Maths is totally done differently to what I was teached when I was at school.”
…David Beckham.  I think English is ‘teached’ differently as well by the sounds of it, David.

4) "For those who know Selhurst Park, West Ham are playing from right to left."
...Radio commentator.

I don't know what time it is, but it's quarter to ten.
5) “I came in 11 years ago. I remember it like it was tomorrow.”
…David Moyes

6) "The minute's silence was immaculate. I have never heard a minute's silence like that."
...Kevin Keegan

7) "I don't know when the manager will have told them the teams, but it will have been at quarter to two."
...Nigel Spackman

8) "A win would be nice, but the most important thing is getting the three points."
...John Carver

9) “I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.”
…Alan Shearer

10) “The organisers are hoping the footballing extravaganza will bring in a global TV audience in excess of 8 billion viewers.”
…BBC Journalist, reporting from planet Earth (Pop: 7 billion)

11) "Brentford scored a last minute winner four minutes from time."
...Jeff Stelling

For the benefit of Rey Mysterio, here's a map of Europe.
12) “I was disappointed Mexico didn't qualify for Euro 2008.”
…Rey Mysterio, Mexican wrestler and keen geographer.

13) “None of the player are wearing earrings. Kjeldberg, with his contact lenses is the closest we can get.”
…John Motson

14) “It’s a huge honour to wear number 7 at Liverpool. I think about the legends; Dalglish, Keegan and that Australian guy.”
…Luis Suarez

15) “Cole should be scoring from those distances, but I’m not going to single him out.”
…I’m not going to single out who said this, but it was Alex Ferguson.

. . . . . . . .

You can find more funny football quotes in the book 'The Funny Side Of Football' available for kindle from Amazon:
The Funny Side Of Football


Related posts:
Funny Football Quotes (Part 6)
Funny Football Quotes (Part 7)
Funny Football Quotes (Part 8)

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About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.