Saturday, 5 March 2016

An Idiot Abroad Quotes

The logic and wisdom of Karl Pilkington.

"Wow!  Look at that old ice!"
From time to time on the Charles Fudgemuffin blog I feature book reviews, and one book which I thoroughly enjoyed was An Idiot Abroad 2 by Karl Pilkington.  The sense of humour will probably appeal to some people more than others, so rather than review the book, I thought I would sum it up with a selection of quotes which illustrate the logic and wisdom of Karl Pilkington…

Street entertainers...
1) "I’ve always found it odd how tourists take photographs of mime artists. Everyone looks like a mime in a photo."

2) “He was telling me that some of these glaciers are millions of years old, but I can’t get excited about old ice. Ice is ice. You never see someone on Antiques Roadshow turning up with a block of ice for a reason.”

3) “I can’t imagine if the question on Family Fortunes was ‘What would you like to do before you die?’ that ‘Touch some old ice’ would be a top answer.”

4) "I’ll never forget being on Carnaby Street in London a while back and a woman asking me if I wanted to join to do breathing exercises! Who is so lazy that they can’t be bothered to breathe? She told me it wasn’t like that and that she would teach me to breathe properly. I told her I was 37 and I thought I had the hang of it."

"Quick! It's an emergency! I need a beetle!"
The dangers of meeting a bear in the wild…
5) "It’s odd how kids are given bears as toys and brought up thinking they’re nice cuddly creatures like Paddington Bear, Pooh Bear, Yogi Bear and SuperTed."

Mount Everest and biscuits...
6) "There is a quote from George Mallory who said when asked why he climbed Everest, ‘Because it is there.’ I know what he means, as I do the same if there are biscuits in the house. If I know we have some in, I eat them. If we haven’t, I go without."

Buying stag beetles in Japan…
7) "As well as selling them in shops, they also sell them in vending machines. Why sell them in vending machines? Why can’t people just wait until the shops open? What’s the urgency in buying a beetle?"

Paul the octopus…
8) "I was telling Eric about the octopus called Paul that was able to predict the winners of each game in the 2010 World Cup. I wasn’t impressed with it knowing England would lose though. I reckon a starfish knew that was gonna happen, and they ain’t even got a brain."

Security measures...
9) "The problem I have with smaller electronic stuff is that it’s easier to steal. A robber can now walk into a home and take away your whole entertainment system in his pockets. We’ve made it easy for thieves. Big and heavy is good. That’s why Stonehenge has not been nicked after all these years."

Science and technology…
10) "We landed on the moon before someone thought about putting wheels on a suitcase."

Some people love mountains. Karl loves biscuits.
Domestic chores…
11) "I don’t really do cooking. Luckily, Suzanne likes to do it and I like eating, so we work well together."

The dangers of mountaineering…
12) "I also seem to hear more about people who have died during a climb than the ones who make it back. The news normally features a family member saying, ‘At least he died doing what he loved,’ which I don’t think makes dying any better. I nearly choked to death on some of my favourite Happy Faces biscuits, but at no point did I think, ‘Oh, at least I’m dying eating something I love.’"

Japanese traffic lights…
13) "I noticed they used bird noises instead of the bleeping noise we have at traffic lights, which is nicer on the ears, but I couldn’t help wondering how many blind people have been run over due to a low-flying chaffinch flying by."

14) "Ricky and his girlfriend bought me and Suzanne a fossil of some fish that is dated at 35 million years old. It’s a bit older now, as that was two Christmases ago."

If you want to read more of the wisdom of Karl Pilkington, you can purchase 'The Further Adventures Of An Idiot Abroad' from the following link:
The Further Adventures Of An Idiot Abroad

N.B. In my opinion, a more accurate title for the TV show would be 'Two idiots in the studio with one intelligent, funny and entertaining person abroad'.
. . . . . . . .

Recent book reviews:
Book Reviews (Part 11)
Book Reviews (Part 12)
Book Reviews (Part 13)

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About The Author

The 'How To Save The World' books
by Charles Fudgemuffin
Charles Fudgemuffin is the author of the alien comedy 'How To Save The World' books which are available for Kindle from Amazon.  The first book in the series is available from the following link:
How To Save The World: An Alien Comedy

As with all Kindle books, you can also download a free sample of the first few chapters.

Please note, the 'How To Save The World' books contain material suitable for ages 18+ and are not recommended for prudes or squares.