Random thoughts (part 5)

Here's another batch of random thoughts on random unconnected subjects...

Mmm!!!

1) Mirror, mirror

Technically, every mirror you buy at a store is in used condition.



2) Udderly ridiculous

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'Hmm, I think I'll squeeze those dangly things and then drink what comes out.'?



3) Warning sign

People who say, "If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best," generally don't have a 'best'.

24 John Motson quotes

Footballing commentator legend John Motson, or 'Motty' as he's also known, retired last weekend after 50 years of commentating on football.

So in honour of Motty, here are a some of his more memorable quotes from over the years...

A football stadium in the truest sense of the word.
Whatever other sense of the word there might be, I'm not sure.

1) “In a sense it's a one-man show... except that there are two men involved, Hartson and Berkovic, and a third man, the goalkeeper.”


2) “You couldn't have counted the number of moves Alan Ball made. I counted four and possibly five.”


3) “It's a football stadium in the truest sense of the word.”


4) “So different from the scenes in 1872, at the cup final none of us can remember.”

Hidden Android Easter eggs.

The Android. A short story.

My latest short story, 'The Android' is released this weekend, so sticking with the theme of androids, here's a guide on how to unlock a cool hidden Easter egg found within the Android operating system.

The process is the same for every version of Android...

1) Go into settings.

2) Tap 'About tablet' or 'About phone'.

3) Tap 'Android version' or 'Firmware version' several times very quickly.

'Settings' / 'About tablet' / 'Android version'

Top tips

Here are a few silly light-hearted top tips covering such random subjects as ghosts, parenthood, and hospital car parks.

Three apples.

1) Discover what you'll look like ten years older by having kids then looking in the mirror six months later.


2) Pretend you're a professional tennis player by asking your greengrocer for 3 apples and then rolling one back to him.


3) Husbands. When your wife asks you, "Do you prefer this outfit or this outfit?" simply choose any outfit at random because she won't pay any attention to your opinion anyway.