24 John Motson quotes

Footballing commentator legend John Motson, or 'Motty' as he's also known, retired last weekend after 50 years of commentating on football.

So in honour of Motty, here are a some of his more memorable quotes from over the years...

A football stadium in the truest sense of the word.
Whatever other sense of the word there might be, I'm not sure.

1) “In a sense it's a one-man show... except that there are two men involved, Hartson and Berkovic, and a third man, the goalkeeper.”


2) “You couldn't have counted the number of moves Alan Ball made. I counted four and possibly five.”


3) “It's a football stadium in the truest sense of the word.”


4) “So different from the scenes in 1872, at the cup final none of us can remember.”


5) “And what a time to score! Twenty two minutes gone!”


6) “Owen scores and breaks Lineker’s competitive scoring record. Although this being a friendly it doesn’t actual count, so he hasn’t quite done it yet.”


7) “That's an old Ipswich move. O'Callaghan crossing for Mariner to drive over the bar.”

Just one minute of overtime, so obviously it's time for the eggs.

8) “Barcelona... a club with a stadium that seats 120,000 people. And they're all here in Newcastle tonight!”


9) “Just one minute of overtime, so you can put the eggs on now if you like.”


10) “Paul Gascoigne has recently become a father and been booked for over-celebrating.”


11) “I can't fault Mark Palios too highly.”


12) “For those of you who are late-comers, I'll refresh your memory of the goal-scorers.”


13) “That shot might not have been as good as it might have been.”


14) “For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all yellow strip.”


15) “None of the player are wearing earrings. Kjeldberg, with his contact lenses is the closest we can get.”


16) “Nearly all the Brazilian supporters are wearing yellow shirts. It's a fabulous kaleidoscope of colour!”

David Seaman, pictured in his Arsenal days.

17) “And I suppose Tottenham are nearer to being out of the FA Cup now than any other tine since the first half of this season, when they weren't ever in it anyway.”


18) “And Seaman, just like a falling oak, manages to change direction.”


19) “The referee is wearing the same yellow-coloured top as the Slovakian goalkeeper. I'd have thought the UEFA official would have spotted that, but perhaps he's been deafened by the noise of this crowd.”


20) “The World Cup is a truly international event.”


21) “The match has become quite unpredictable, but it still looks as though Arsenal will win the cup.”


22) "Gary Lineker has now scored 37 goals. That is precisely twice as many as last year."


23) The goals made such a difference to the way this game went."


24) “Middlesbrough are withdrawing Maccarone the Italian, Nemeth the Slovakian and Stockdale the right back.”

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You can find more funny football quotes in 'The Funny Side Of Football' available for kindle from Amazon:
'The Funny Side Of Football' for kindle