Made up statistics

According to recent research, only 46% of scientific studies could be reproduced, i.e. the other 54% were impossible to reproduce, suggesting the 'scientists' doing the original study had either 'fudged' the results, or were massively incompetent.

Here's the proof!

Credit: reddit

It's shocking, but sadly not surprising, that modern science is less reliable than a coin flip, but on the positive side, it did at least provide the inspiration for this week's blog post.

Which is a fancy way of saying that I've decided to get in on the game and post a few made up statistics of my own...

1) Studies show that watching a beaver eat cabbage lowers stress by 17%.




2) The phrase 'Don't take this the wrong way' has a 0% success rate.




3) Here's an interesting question from twitter which I'm sure many people have wondered...

Credit: @EdEdgeMusic

Some people in the replies commented that the reason is because the biggest made up statistics of all are from the government, but surely that can't be the reason, can it? **shifty eyes**




4) I'm surprised this next made up statistic wasn't even higher...

84% of TV viewers feel uncomfortable when the TV volume is an odd number.

An inspirational quote.

5) 75% of parenting is shouting "Why is it sticky in here?"

Credit: @MommyingHard




6) Exercising for just 30 minutes per day raises your chances of posting inspirational quotes by 70%.




7) The number of people saying 'Boo!' to their friends has risen by 42% in the last year.

That's a frightening statistic.

$cience, pictured yesterday.

8) Think of how stupid the average person is, now by the statistical definition of average, half of all people are stupider than that!

Editor's note: "Charles, that's not a made up statistic. That's factually accurate."
Charles: "Oops, sorry! I won't let it happen again. From now on, all the rest of the statistics in this blog post will be completely made up."
Editor: "Thank you. That's better."




9) 97% of scientists agree with whoever is funding them.

The other 3% are banned from social media!

Legal disclaimer: The above statistic was definitely made up and definitely not based on reality whatsoever. **shifty eyes**




10) Finally, according to a recent study*, people who read the Charles Fudgemuffin blog are 74% happier than non-readers, 82% more intelligent than non-readers, and 95% better looking than non-readers! Wow! You can't argue with statistics like that!

* Which I just totally made up.

If your thirst for statistics is still not satisfied, then why not check out the following statistically themed blog posts:
They did the math(s)
How many days before vampires take over the world?