How many ... does it take to change a light bulb?

You're going to think I'm making this up, but this coming Thursday is National Light Bulb Day! Whoever felt the need for a special day to celebrate light bulbs, must have been quite a weird person, but anyway, in honour of this 'special day' here's a collection of light bulb jokes...

That's going to need changed.

1) How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.


2) How many Dragon Ball Z episodes does it take to change a light bulb?
Find out next time on Dragon Ball Z!


3) How many censors does it take to change a light bulb?
███; one to ████, and another to ███ with a large protruding object from his ███ ██ with ███ large strawberry muffin in his ███.


4) How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb?
Juan.

"I've dreamed of changing these floodlights since I was a kid."

5) How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just change the standard to darkness.


6) How many premiership footballers does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but also his agent and thirty six reporters to listen to him explain that this is his dream light bulb and it's one of the biggest light bulbs in Europe and he's dreamed of switching it on since he was a child.


7) How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?
That's not funny.

Tax dodger Bono revolves away from the camera.

8) How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?
It's a very obscure number, you probably won't have heard of it.


9) How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
I’ll have an estimate for you a week on Tuesday.


10) How many members of U2 does it take to change a light bulb?
One. Bono holds the light bulb, and the world revolves around him.

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Despite the name, my latest short story 'The Darkness And The Light' doesn't feature any light bulbs. Instead, it features ... well, if you want to find out, you'll have to download it!

My usual stories, published under my 'Charles Fudgemuffin' pseudonym, are generally light-hearted and even on occasion quite silly. However, 'The Darkness and the Light' is a sci-fi short story, rather than a humorous tale, and therefore it's published under my more serious pseudonym, Charles Futch-Moffin.