How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It

'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It'
To clarify, it's a short story collection, not a 'How To' guide!

Today sees the release of a new book from Charles Fudgemuffin entitled 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It'.

For the avoidance of any doubt, 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It' is a collection of short stories. It is not a 'How To' guide. Apologies to anyone with sinister intentions who arrived at this page after a nefarious internet search.

'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It, and Other Short Stories' is priced at £1.99/$2.99, but the ten short stories from the collection are also available individually.

Here's a brief summary of each of the ten short stories:

Is A KitKat A Chocolate Bar Or A Biscuit?

As you've probably already guessed from the title, 'Is A KitKat A Chocolate Bar Or A Biscuit?' is a story about a brutal gangster, his closest life-long friend, and a local punk.

True Freedom

True Freedom is a more serious short story with a serious tone, and is therefore published under my more serious alter-ego ... Charles Futch-Moffin.

The Cashier Who Didn't Work Saturdays

The catchily named 'The Cashier Who Didn't Work Saturdays' is a story about a cashier who doesn't work Saturdays. It also features a bank robbery. Anyone who wants to avoid spoilers should look away now... (Spoiler alert: The bank robber is stupid.)

The ten short stories from 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It'.

The Absence Of Fear

The Absence Of Fear features someone with Urbach-Wiethe disease, which as I'm sure everyone knows is a condition which leaves the sufferer unable to feel fear. I've never experienced Urbach-Wiethe disease myself, nor have I ever met anyone with it, so 'The Absence Of Fear' is likely to be quite unrealistic. However, that's okay because I didn't set out to write an accurate portrayal of Urbach-Wiethe disease. I set out to write a daft short story, and that's what it is.

Wagon Wheels, Star Wars Memorabilia and the Nice Ham

The next short story, 'Wagon Wheels, Star Wars Memorabilia and the Nice Ham' has a rather a cliched title, so apologies in advance for giving it such a well-worn predictable overused title.

The Puppet Master

A mysterious figure wearing two puppets on his hands is shooting random people with poison darts. He then sets his victims a puzzle which they must solve in return for the antidote. Is this 'Puppet Master' crazy? Or is there a method to his madness?

Gravity

Gravity takes place on the roof of a multi-storey building. Well, most of it takes place on the roof of a multi-storey building, but as you might have guessed from the title, as the story develops, gravity features in the equation.

'A Parcel For Your Neighbour'
A boring title, but an explosive cover.

A Parcel For Your Neighbour

Despite the admittedly boringly unremarkable title, things get rather tense as the story develops, as you can see from the cover photo.

Walk Again

In my opinion, Walk Again is the most unsettling story of the collection. While most of the other short stories are generally silly and light-hearted, this one is a lot more disturbing.

How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It

Finally, by a fortunate coincidence, the title story from 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It, and Other Short Stories' is also entitled 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It'.

Joking aside, that wasn't actually a fortunate coincidence. That was deliberate. By definition, the title story of a short story collection is always the same as the collected title. Anyway, once again, any mariticidal readers with nefarious intentions towards their husband should be aware that this is just a short story. If you buy this hoping for tips or inspiration, you'll be disappointed.

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Once again all of the short stories mentioned above are collected in 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It, and Other Short Stories', but if for some reason you'd rather buy them all individually, then here's a quick list of links to each of the short stories:

'Is A Kitkat A Choclate Bar Or A Biscuit' is one of several
short stories released this weekend. Unless you're reading
this in the future, in which case it was released several
weeks/months/years ago. (Delete as appropriate
depending on how far into the future you're reading this.)

Is A Kitkat A Chocolate Bar Or A Biscuit?

True Freedom

The Cashier Who Didn't Work Saturdays

The Absence Of Fear

Wagon Wheels, Star Wars Memorabilia and the Nice Ham

The Puppet Master

Gravity

A Parcel For Your Neighbour

Walk Again

How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It

Despite the fact that most of the short stories have a daft lighthearted tone to them, some stories do however also include scenes featuring violent criminal acts. Do not try these criminal acts at home. In fact don't try them anywhere!

All of the short stories are available now priced £0.99/$0.99, but it works out cheaper to buy the collected edition, so that's what I would recommend. Unless of course you prefer spending extra money unnecessarily, in which case feel free to buy them all individually!

Anyway, if you prefer the more financially prudent option, then the collected edition, 'How To Poison Your Husband And Get Away With It, and Other Short Stories' is now available for kindle from Amazon.

Update: Please note, because I accidentally clicked the wrong button due to a complex legal issue which I am not at liberty to discuss at this present time, 'The Absence Of Fear' will be released two weeks later than the other short stories.

2nd Update: Thankfully, I managed to go back and click the right button I was able to resolve the legal issue, so all ten of the short stories will now be available from today.